I thought this little story might help to explain the mental anguish I lived with for errmm about 15 years, and continue to have to deal with sporadically even today. You see, my ex husband has the ability to take anything, and I do mean ANYTHING you say and turn it against you. And he's good at it. So good at it that after a while you start to wonder if it's YOU that's wrong and not him.
One of his best ploys was to take something you said and repeat it back to you, but with a totally different meaning. In fact, I do believe that if it's at all possible to take something you've said more then one way he will unerringly pick the worse possible meaning.
Case in point:
A few years back when he was still trying to `woo' me back we got into (yet another) argument.
Richard: What does he (N) have that I don't!?* You said yourself that he isn't romantic. I was always romantic! You always said that was important to you.
Me: *Cough**Sputter* I NEVER said he wasn't romantic!
*Understand that I didn't LEAVE Richard for N. As a matter of fact I didn't meet N until a year after we had separated, but Richard insisted that this was some sort of competition between the two of them.
So I sat there busting my brain trying to figure out where he EVER got the idea that I said that N wasn't romantic (I mean how could you call a guy who lights candles in every room in the house including up the staircase and then leaves a single red rose on the bed NOT romantic?) when I remembered a PRIOR conversation when we got into (yet ANOTHER) an argument.
Richard: I can't wait until the romance is gone and you're left with the everyday boring humdrum. Then you'll see, I was the best thing you could ever have. You'll be back!
Me: Our relationship's not like that. It's not about hearts and flowers and rosy sunsets!
Clearly - right there - can you see it? I said that N wasn't romantic. Right?
God it makes me insane just thinking about it!
Posted by parttimemom
at 4:54 PM PDT
Updated: Monday, 28 June 2004 4:55 PM PDT
