How I came out of the weekend from Hell happier then ever.
Mood:  celebratory
I'm one lucky woman. Really I mean it. Let me tell you about our weekend, and YOU decide.

Actually, the story starts earlier then this. You see, my daughter was installed as Honored Queen (like being the president) in her Bethel (Job's Daughters - a club for young women who are related to masons) this weekend. Whereas most people have months or more to plan for this ceremony (Think Wedding-like in proportion to preparation required) She got three weeks! When she got the news she called me to tell me, and then asked how many from `my family' would be attending. As N wasn't around to confer with, I committed him without asking. Actually, let me put this another way, here was the actual conversation.

C: Hi mom, I just need to know how many from your family are coming to my installation.
Me: I'm not sure honey. You'll have to call around and find out.
C: No, I mean YOUR family. You know, people living in your house.
Me: OH! Well, I don't know. I'll be there for sure. Um. I'm sure Nigel would like to come, but he won't mind stay home if it would make your feel uncomfortable with him there.
C: I really don't mind either way.
Me: Ok then, he'll come and IB (N's son) will be here that weekend, so make it three.
C: Ok!

So we spent the week she was here making invitations, programs, carrying pieces, and corsages... among other things. Friday Night she had gone back to her Dad's but I was still working on the programs for her, putting in last minute changes, and corresponding with the Bethel Guardian (Head Muckey-muck) to make sure all is in place and correct. I stayed up until about 1:00am.

As I was part of the ceremony, I needed to be at rehearsal by 9:00am. That meant getting up at 6:00am and then leaving the house by 7:00 UG! (I believe I've mentioned that I'm not a morning person? Even when on work days I don't usually get up before 7:30am) So the alarm goes off at 6:00, N rolls over and snuggles close to me, I snuggle in closer and whisper, "My alarm is going off".

N: It's Saturday!
Me: I know but I have to be in (Town my Children live in) by 9:00am
N: *groan*
Me: Are you coming with me?
N: I have homework. IB and I will come later in the Jeep
Me: Yeah, right ok

So, I get up ALONE, and I'm pissed. I had counted on him coming with me. I had planned on spending the day with him and I figured that looking at a 130 mile drive in a Jeep Wrangler with no top on it, he would be calling me 30 minutes too late to leave the house to tell me he wasn't coming.
Now, part of me was mad because I figured C would feel a little let down that I had said he was coming and then he doesn't. But more then that, I was feeling selfish. I didn't want to sit through this special occasion with my family there and the ex there with his girlfriend ALONE AGAIN! It just made me feel sad and frustrated and well, it PISSED ME OFF!

But, on the way over I figured out a solution. When I figured he was awake I called and I made my move.

Me: Hey, how about if after the rehearsal I come home and pick you up?
N: What? That's way too much driving
Me: Not really, we're putting the same amount of miles, but it's just all on my car instead of on two, and this way after it's over we're not driving home in separate cars
N: Yeah, and I'm not having to drive the Jeep home late at night in the cold
Me: Exactly
N: I've got so much homework....
Me: Alright, well I'll call you after. If you HAVE to stay home, the you can stay.
N: But you said I HAD to be there.
Me: I know I said that, but in truth your homework is more important so if you need to stay home and finish it, you can.
N: Alright, I'll start on it and I'll let you know how it's going when you call

Now, I know, after saying how pissed I was before that you might think I was being facetious, but the truth is, I meant every word I said to him. His homework takes priority, and if he needed to stay home, I would understand. I wouldn't like it, but hey life's not always fair, I'm an adult, I'll deal with it.

So, I called after the rehearsal, he said "Come get me" and I did! I made it home in two hours... I printed programs, changed my clothes and we all piled in the car and prepared to make the two hour drive AGAIN.

We left the house at 3:50. I needed to be there by 6:30, the installation was at 7:00. My plan was to be there by 6:00 and be available for any last minute emergencies. We start driving, and hit traffic. We stop, we go, we stop, we take a short cut... it takes 1 hour to get to a town 35 miles away. We keep going. We drive on back roads thinking to avoid traffic and then disaster! The lift bridge is RAISED! Traffic is backed up waiting for some fool on a speed boat to go under...We fret, I stress, I want to cry and scream and throw things. I'm thinking deadly thoughts about my fianc? because he didn't just GET HIS LAZY BUTT OUT OF BED and come with me in the morning! The thing is, I really can't get mad because he feels guilty about it already.

Now we're about 50 miles into our 130 mile trip and it's already 5:45! N starts asking me about what happens if we're late? I have to explain to him that I HAVE to be there by 7:00. That my role involves me STARTING the ceremony. I CAN'T be late. OMG I CAN'T BE LATE!!! So, my wonderful loving, amazing fianc? gets us safely back on the main road and starts to DRIVE. I start calculating, PRAYING that we can make it there. I read every sign that says how far away we are. Finally, it starts to look like we might make it there by 7:00! Then I realize that we're going to make it before 7:00! OMG we pull in at 6:35! I'm about ready to burst into tears. My honey has the biggest GRIN on his face and is not shy about telling me how much I now OWE him. Heheheh..,. (yes, I rewarded him, but that's another story)

The ceremony was beautiful. I managed to make it through without crying. Even when I sang (Baby of Mine from Dumbo if you MUST know). The only fly in the ointment was when the girl who was leaving office kept flubbing her speeches. It really detracted from the overall effect. And then when it came to the part where she was supposed to hand over the cape and crown (I know it sounds weird to an outsider) She started bawling and said out loud to everyone there "I don't want to let it go!" My daughter, the ever calm one, simply said quietly "You have to...it's time" I was so proud of her.

So we get to the part where my daughter had to introduce her family. Earlier in the day I had called her and asked "Honey, do you expect N to stand when it comes time to introduce your family?" She said "Of course!" and actually sounded really surprised that I asked her. When I told N later that he and IB would have to stand he was a little confused, but I think secretly happy that she would give him that kind of consideration. Anyway, we all stand, and as a surprise to C we each had a sign that read how we were related to her and our names. This may sound strange but you have to realize that my grandmother has 9 brothers and sisters and 8 children. We are a LARGE brood and I have trouble keeping track of all the dozens of cousins, much less my kids doing it. So we stand, and we hold up our signs and she gets the giggles. The she starts going around the room, making introductions.

"This is my Mom, S____" *points* "and this is my Mom's Fianc? N____" And this was the GREAT part... She gets this GREAT BIG GRIN on her face and gives N the double thumbs up. He and I were both stunned! As casual as she made her invitation... She made it clear that she was really glad to have him there. We both got the impression that she REALLY likes N, and that she's glad we're getting married! She introduced her Dad and his Girlfriend, but N was the only one who got ANY thumbs up, much less TWO of them. N and I were both so surprised by her reaction that not only did we talk about it on the way home, but the next day as well!

(Anyway, I know this is getting long. I'm going to try to wrap this up, but I've got a few more points to add before I do... )

The other two kids were at this ceremony too. From the time he arrived to the time I left my son hugged me no less then 6 times! He also sat around and talked to N, IB and Me even when his Dad was in the room. At one point he became the `go between' between his dad and I when he stepped up to me and said "Mom, are you staying until it's over?"

Me: Why?
M: Cause Dad and J want to leave
Me: Oh, and you have to go unless I stay?
M: *nods*
Me: Well, I think I can stay a while, but I can't drive you home, I don't have enough room in my car.

M walks over to his dad, talks to him for a while and then comes back over to me.

M: Dad says if you could stay then we can stay
Me: does he understand that I can't drive you home? Is he coming back to pick you up or what?
M: *looking helpless* Can you just go over and talk to him!?

At this point I had to laugh. Really the DECENT thing to do would have been for his DAD to come over and talk to ME since HE was the one who wanted to leave, but I went over and made the necessary arraignments. I stayed `til the end while Richard and J took off to do God knows what. I stayed, and helped take down decorations, and clean the room. I got to take pictures of the fun and hug my daughter several times. I got to be the `good' parent! We may have gotten home a LOT later then we wanted, but DAMN if it wasn't worth it

My sweet honey drove me home while I slumped into a happy foggy stupor. And an early Sunday morning Shag made the weekend complete!