Reasons my Cat is weird
Mood:  happy
1) She's named after a character in a book
2) The character isn't a cat
3) She's also named after one of the sea beds on the moon
4) She has long hair that grows between her toes that she can't STAND to be touched
5) She often sees and/or chases things not perceived by humans
6) She insists on drinking from the faucet even though every time she does water goes up her nose
7) She can pick up small items with her paws even without an opposable thumb
8) As a kitten she claimed one of my stuffed animals as HERS
9) We named her bear Pookie (Ok - so this makes US weird, not the cat, but I included it anyway)
10) She refuses to acknowledge ANY stuffed animal except Pookie.
11) Pookie has blood stains around his neck from her chewing on him when she was teething
12) She hurt herself rather seriously one evening when, while jumping off the bunk bed she landed on my swiss ball, which, to her surprise, rolled out from under her and caused her to land awkwardly and solidly on the floor.
13) She limped for a month after that
14) She now avoids all high places
15) She's Agrophobic
16) If one tries to forcefully bring her outdoors they will suffer HER WRATH
17) When she sees her reflection in the sliding glass door she will arch her back, puff up her fur and tail and bounce towered it hissing. When she sees an actual cat outside she flattens herself to the ground and tries to hide.
18) You are allowed to pet her at exactly three points in the day.
a. When you first wake up and have yet to get out of bed
b. When you are sitting on the toilet
c. When you come home after being gone for a while
19) This privilege can be revolved at any time without prior warning
20) If something startles her, she often turns quickly to run away and ends up running into a wall
21) She often attacks without warning and then licks the spot as if that will make it all right.
22) She does not Meow
23) She makes about half a dozen noises but none of them are a meow.
24) She scratches the floor around her food as if trying to burry it
25) If you are eating she MUST investigate your food - no she does not want to taste it, she simply wants to assure herself that it is acceptable for YOU to eat.
26) She has convinced us that she WILL, one day, catch that THING that moves back and forth inside the printer
27) Upon hearing the printer from ANY room in the house she will RACE into the office, climb the back of the chair in one leap and prepaire to wait for that moving thing to poke it's head out... JUST ONCE... so that she can dispatch it.
28) When climbing the chair she digs her claws in so deeply that it takes her 30-60 seconds to pull them out so that she can actually move again. (Velcro Cat)

**To be Continued**