Having a little fun...
Mood:  chillin'
at this site

and so, I give you



Me...

You're in trouble now!
Mood:  not sure
I just discovered that I can now insert pictures into my blog. So, as a test, I give you

The Queen


So, now I can take requests (within reason!)

Feel free to post them here.

(I shall post of picture of Imbri's not to be believed 'hairy toes' soon)

Hey Baby, wanna buy a car?
Mood:  don't ask
I just want to cry! I went looking for a car today, and it was every bit as horrible as I had imagined.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy with my current car. In fact, I love my little bug. It's my first ever brand new car. I bought it after the divorce and it was such a sign and symbol of the new independence I had wroth, that I've attached a lot of emotion to that car. Not to mention it was my dream car. It was the car I had wanted for years and had finally gotten. In fact, if I wasn't forced to, the only car I would throw it over for would be the convertible version, or a mini cooper.

But, reality is an ugly bitch. This reconciliation with my children means that I often have two or three of them over at the house at the same time. The bug seats four. This means that when more then two children (weather they all mine or a combination of his and mine) we can't go ANYWHERE without taking separate vehicles. (N's Jeep also only seats four) Since MY car is the higher of the two payments it was decided that MINE should be traded in for something that seats at LEAST six.

So, today I went out looking at cars. Now, let me start this off by saying the ex used to sell cars. I KNOW these guys. I also know and understand that they are on commission. That selling me a car means they can feed their family and in some cases can be the difference in them keeping their job. This is one of the reasons, I ALWAYS let the ex handle these sort of things. Now, pile on top of that the fact that the guy _I_ happen to pick up was OBVIOUSLY new. (a fact he confirmed when I asked for his business card) and you've got a recipe for disaster. First, I'm a woman. And no matter how open minded a guy would like to think he is, he looses all sense of gender equality when he sees a woman walk onto a car lot. Add the fact that I would like to think that I'm a mildly attractive woman, and that I was wearing a short skirt - and I think the sweaty palms this guy had were due to more then him trying to make his first sale. He stuttered, he talked too fast, he laughed nervously and incessantly at his own inane jokes, he pushed way way WAY too hard. I did everything I could to calm him down. I listened intently when he talked, I smiled and nodded, I was upfront and straightforward, I even repeatedly assured him that I would not `give' his sale away to another salesman NOTHING would shut him up!

Now, let's talk about the car I looked at. It's the model we want, an appropriate year with a decent (as in low) amount of mileage, and well within my price range. At first glance it looked like it might work. But since this guy would let me walk away and bring my fianc? to look at it later, I spent a LOT more time looking at it then I should have. So, I noticed things. Things like the tear in the headliner, the seat belt that was obviously some sort of Frankenstein job. The broken drivers seat arm rest, etc etc. Every sign of abuse and neglect made that much more depressed! It's not as though my bug is perfect. But at least with it I KNOW what each and every mar is, and where it came from. The tear in the carpeting that's from wearing CFM shoes one to many times while driving a stick. The broken window switch from having to roll the window up and down EVERY day to pay toll as I crossed the bridge. The mar on the headliner from the time I drove 130 miles with a bike loaded in the back, only to throw the bike away when N pronounced it unfit to ride. Sure, I know that I can't afford another brand new car, but geeze is it too much to ask for a car that at least APPEARS as if I'm the first to drive it? At least superficially?

FAH - I don't know what to do now. I don't want to give up my car... I don't want someone else's memories sitting in MY driveway. But I can't continue living this life where we constantly have to make plans based on how many people are over at any given time. I DON'T WANT TO OWN A MINIVAN!!

How I came out of the weekend from Hell happier then ever.
Mood:  celebratory
I'm one lucky woman. Really I mean it. Let me tell you about our weekend, and YOU decide.

Actually, the story starts earlier then this. You see, my daughter was installed as Honored Queen (like being the president) in her Bethel (Job's Daughters - a club for young women who are related to masons) this weekend. Whereas most people have months or more to plan for this ceremony (Think Wedding-like in proportion to preparation required) She got three weeks! When she got the news she called me to tell me, and then asked how many from `my family' would be attending. As N wasn't around to confer with, I committed him without asking. Actually, let me put this another way, here was the actual conversation.

C: Hi mom, I just need to know how many from your family are coming to my installation.
Me: I'm not sure honey. You'll have to call around and find out.
C: No, I mean YOUR family. You know, people living in your house.
Me: OH! Well, I don't know. I'll be there for sure. Um. I'm sure Nigel would like to come, but he won't mind stay home if it would make your feel uncomfortable with him there.
C: I really don't mind either way.
Me: Ok then, he'll come and IB (N's son) will be here that weekend, so make it three.
C: Ok!

So we spent the week she was here making invitations, programs, carrying pieces, and corsages... among other things. Friday Night she had gone back to her Dad's but I was still working on the programs for her, putting in last minute changes, and corresponding with the Bethel Guardian (Head Muckey-muck) to make sure all is in place and correct. I stayed up until about 1:00am.

As I was part of the ceremony, I needed to be at rehearsal by 9:00am. That meant getting up at 6:00am and then leaving the house by 7:00 UG! (I believe I've mentioned that I'm not a morning person? Even when on work days I don't usually get up before 7:30am) So the alarm goes off at 6:00, N rolls over and snuggles close to me, I snuggle in closer and whisper, "My alarm is going off".

N: It's Saturday!
Me: I know but I have to be in (Town my Children live in) by 9:00am
N: *groan*
Me: Are you coming with me?
N: I have homework. IB and I will come later in the Jeep
Me: Yeah, right ok

So, I get up ALONE, and I'm pissed. I had counted on him coming with me. I had planned on spending the day with him and I figured that looking at a 130 mile drive in a Jeep Wrangler with no top on it, he would be calling me 30 minutes too late to leave the house to tell me he wasn't coming.
Now, part of me was mad because I figured C would feel a little let down that I had said he was coming and then he doesn't. But more then that, I was feeling selfish. I didn't want to sit through this special occasion with my family there and the ex there with his girlfriend ALONE AGAIN! It just made me feel sad and frustrated and well, it PISSED ME OFF!

But, on the way over I figured out a solution. When I figured he was awake I called and I made my move.

Me: Hey, how about if after the rehearsal I come home and pick you up?
N: What? That's way too much driving
Me: Not really, we're putting the same amount of miles, but it's just all on my car instead of on two, and this way after it's over we're not driving home in separate cars
N: Yeah, and I'm not having to drive the Jeep home late at night in the cold
Me: Exactly
N: I've got so much homework....
Me: Alright, well I'll call you after. If you HAVE to stay home, the you can stay.
N: But you said I HAD to be there.
Me: I know I said that, but in truth your homework is more important so if you need to stay home and finish it, you can.
N: Alright, I'll start on it and I'll let you know how it's going when you call

Now, I know, after saying how pissed I was before that you might think I was being facetious, but the truth is, I meant every word I said to him. His homework takes priority, and if he needed to stay home, I would understand. I wouldn't like it, but hey life's not always fair, I'm an adult, I'll deal with it.

So, I called after the rehearsal, he said "Come get me" and I did! I made it home in two hours... I printed programs, changed my clothes and we all piled in the car and prepared to make the two hour drive AGAIN.

We left the house at 3:50. I needed to be there by 6:30, the installation was at 7:00. My plan was to be there by 6:00 and be available for any last minute emergencies. We start driving, and hit traffic. We stop, we go, we stop, we take a short cut... it takes 1 hour to get to a town 35 miles away. We keep going. We drive on back roads thinking to avoid traffic and then disaster! The lift bridge is RAISED! Traffic is backed up waiting for some fool on a speed boat to go under...We fret, I stress, I want to cry and scream and throw things. I'm thinking deadly thoughts about my fianc? because he didn't just GET HIS LAZY BUTT OUT OF BED and come with me in the morning! The thing is, I really can't get mad because he feels guilty about it already.

Now we're about 50 miles into our 130 mile trip and it's already 5:45! N starts asking me about what happens if we're late? I have to explain to him that I HAVE to be there by 7:00. That my role involves me STARTING the ceremony. I CAN'T be late. OMG I CAN'T BE LATE!!! So, my wonderful loving, amazing fianc? gets us safely back on the main road and starts to DRIVE. I start calculating, PRAYING that we can make it there. I read every sign that says how far away we are. Finally, it starts to look like we might make it there by 7:00! Then I realize that we're going to make it before 7:00! OMG we pull in at 6:35! I'm about ready to burst into tears. My honey has the biggest GRIN on his face and is not shy about telling me how much I now OWE him. Heheheh..,. (yes, I rewarded him, but that's another story)

The ceremony was beautiful. I managed to make it through without crying. Even when I sang (Baby of Mine from Dumbo if you MUST know). The only fly in the ointment was when the girl who was leaving office kept flubbing her speeches. It really detracted from the overall effect. And then when it came to the part where she was supposed to hand over the cape and crown (I know it sounds weird to an outsider) She started bawling and said out loud to everyone there "I don't want to let it go!" My daughter, the ever calm one, simply said quietly "You have to...it's time" I was so proud of her.

So we get to the part where my daughter had to introduce her family. Earlier in the day I had called her and asked "Honey, do you expect N to stand when it comes time to introduce your family?" She said "Of course!" and actually sounded really surprised that I asked her. When I told N later that he and IB would have to stand he was a little confused, but I think secretly happy that she would give him that kind of consideration. Anyway, we all stand, and as a surprise to C we each had a sign that read how we were related to her and our names. This may sound strange but you have to realize that my grandmother has 9 brothers and sisters and 8 children. We are a LARGE brood and I have trouble keeping track of all the dozens of cousins, much less my kids doing it. So we stand, and we hold up our signs and she gets the giggles. The she starts going around the room, making introductions.

"This is my Mom, S____" *points* "and this is my Mom's Fianc? N____" And this was the GREAT part... She gets this GREAT BIG GRIN on her face and gives N the double thumbs up. He and I were both stunned! As casual as she made her invitation... She made it clear that she was really glad to have him there. We both got the impression that she REALLY likes N, and that she's glad we're getting married! She introduced her Dad and his Girlfriend, but N was the only one who got ANY thumbs up, much less TWO of them. N and I were both so surprised by her reaction that not only did we talk about it on the way home, but the next day as well!

(Anyway, I know this is getting long. I'm going to try to wrap this up, but I've got a few more points to add before I do... )

The other two kids were at this ceremony too. From the time he arrived to the time I left my son hugged me no less then 6 times! He also sat around and talked to N, IB and Me even when his Dad was in the room. At one point he became the `go between' between his dad and I when he stepped up to me and said "Mom, are you staying until it's over?"

Me: Why?
M: Cause Dad and J want to leave
Me: Oh, and you have to go unless I stay?
M: *nods*
Me: Well, I think I can stay a while, but I can't drive you home, I don't have enough room in my car.

M walks over to his dad, talks to him for a while and then comes back over to me.

M: Dad says if you could stay then we can stay
Me: does he understand that I can't drive you home? Is he coming back to pick you up or what?
M: *looking helpless* Can you just go over and talk to him!?

At this point I had to laugh. Really the DECENT thing to do would have been for his DAD to come over and talk to ME since HE was the one who wanted to leave, but I went over and made the necessary arraignments. I stayed `til the end while Richard and J took off to do God knows what. I stayed, and helped take down decorations, and clean the room. I got to take pictures of the fun and hug my daughter several times. I got to be the `good' parent! We may have gotten home a LOT later then we wanted, but DAMN if it wasn't worth it

My sweet honey drove me home while I slumped into a happy foggy stupor. And an early Sunday morning Shag made the weekend complete!

What can I say, it's friday
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Quizes
I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, disgustingly generous, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Yeah, I'm Awake
Mood:  chatty
I'm NOT a morning person. No really, I'm not. I'm one of those people who, the later I stay up, the more awake I get. If left alone, I can sleep until 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon, and trying to function before 10:00 or 11:00 is a REAL challenge for me. As a matter of fact there is some evidence to suggest that I may even have a sleeping disorder. But that's beside the point, what's important to note is that I am NOT A MORNING PERSON. I've long recognized this problem and I've developed some fail safes to make my life bearable.

The first trick to surviving not being a morning person is to develop routines. This way you can get through the morning with your eyes still closed and not miss some important task during the process. A typical morning for me looks like this: Go pee, pet cat if allowed, take birth control pill, undress, weigh, weigh again, weigh one more time just in case the first two were wrong, get out the other scale and weigh on it, give up, throw both scales in the trash and start the shower, step in the shower, rinse, wash hair, rinse, repeat, wash body from head to toe, final rinse, step out of shower, turn off shower, dry, wrap hair, put on deodorant... etc. You get the idea.

Yesterday morning I was a little foggier then usual. (See note below on the new feline sport - book tossing) I got up and started my morning routine as usual, but when I stepped into the shower and started the first rinse, I remembered that the day before I had noted that SOMEONE (bless her little blond headed soul) had used all my vanilla scented body wash. So, I stepped back out of the shower and grabbed another bottle. After stepping back into the shower I went back into auto pilot. I was wet, I had a bottle of soap in my hand, must be time to wash my body! So I did. The next step was of course get out of the shower and rinse off, and so on and so forth. So I did. I was in the car and on my way to work before I finally woke up enough to realize... I had forgotten to wash my hair!

ACK!

My Wierd Cat Part Duex
Mood:  chatty
My cat has learned a new trick. Well, it's not a new trick per se but simply a new variation to some old tricks.

One of the games she's played for a while is jump onto the shelf that holds my alarm clock and then from there, jump behind the book case and pretend she can't figure out how to get back out. Then, recently, I caught her on the bookcase in the kid's room. She was sitting there pulling books out by their bindings with her claws, and then when they had tilted far enough, grabbing them with her teeth and dumping them on the floor. I found it amusing at the time.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 6:00am to *Thump*Tump*RattleRattle*Thump*. It took me a moment to figure out that Imbri had done her morning routine of climbing behind the bookcase and THEN she discovered... BOOKS! Only these books weren't nice light paperback like she had played with the day before. These were heavy, hardbound books, so when she would try to slide them out by their spines, as soon as she would let go of them they would slide back into place with a nice satisfying *Thump*. Suddenly she wasn't so amusing anymore.

Wait - that wasn't funny
Mood:  amorous
It wasn't as if I PLANNED it, but I just happened to be wearing a short skirt and high heals on the very day that he called me and said "What's your schedule like? I've got nothing to do here at the moment and I'm thinking of taking the afternoon off."

I, of course, said "Oh no, I'm much too dedicated to my job to take a day off when I'm not on my deathbed..." Uh.. RIGHT!

I did all my work as quickly as possible and hurried home. I really wasn't THINKING about how I looked, but he commented while we were brushing past one another in the kitchen. Then when he followed me into the bedroom, shut and locked the door and unzipped me, all in one motion. Erm, I think you get the idea, I mean, we simply did what people are SUPPOSED to do when they take off early on a beautiful spring afternoon. I did something I've never done before though. I left my shoes on. And we found there were certain (how shall we say) ADVANTAGES to me being a little taller. He commented on that and of course thought I would use his newfound admiration to my advantage.

Me: So, maybe I should wear heals more often?
Him: Yeah, I think I'd like that. *Evil Grin*
Me: Maybe I'll start wearing them all time. Maybe nothing but heals?
Him: *Bigger Evil grin*
Me: Maybe I could do housework in nothing but heals and a apron.
Him: *serious look* I would be happy just to see you do housework.

*cough*cough*
Mood:  caffeinated
Taking a sick day this afternoon... I'm feeling poorly.. er no My daughter is sick.. yeah that's it.

Reasons my Cat is weird
Mood:  happy
1) She's named after a character in a book
2) The character isn't a cat
3) She's also named after one of the sea beds on the moon
4) She has long hair that grows between her toes that she can't STAND to be touched
5) She often sees and/or chases things not perceived by humans
6) She insists on drinking from the faucet even though every time she does water goes up her nose
7) She can pick up small items with her paws even without an opposable thumb
8) As a kitten she claimed one of my stuffed animals as HERS
9) We named her bear Pookie (Ok - so this makes US weird, not the cat, but I included it anyway)
10) She refuses to acknowledge ANY stuffed animal except Pookie.
11) Pookie has blood stains around his neck from her chewing on him when she was teething
12) She hurt herself rather seriously one evening when, while jumping off the bunk bed she landed on my swiss ball, which, to her surprise, rolled out from under her and caused her to land awkwardly and solidly on the floor.
13) She limped for a month after that
14) She now avoids all high places
15) She's Agrophobic
16) If one tries to forcefully bring her outdoors they will suffer HER WRATH
17) When she sees her reflection in the sliding glass door she will arch her back, puff up her fur and tail and bounce towered it hissing. When she sees an actual cat outside she flattens herself to the ground and tries to hide.
18) You are allowed to pet her at exactly three points in the day.
a. When you first wake up and have yet to get out of bed
b. When you are sitting on the toilet
c. When you come home after being gone for a while
19) This privilege can be revolved at any time without prior warning
20) If something startles her, she often turns quickly to run away and ends up running into a wall
21) She often attacks without warning and then licks the spot as if that will make it all right.
22) She does not Meow
23) She makes about half a dozen noises but none of them are a meow.
24) She scratches the floor around her food as if trying to burry it
25) If you are eating she MUST investigate your food - no she does not want to taste it, she simply wants to assure herself that it is acceptable for YOU to eat.
26) She has convinced us that she WILL, one day, catch that THING that moves back and forth inside the printer
27) Upon hearing the printer from ANY room in the house she will RACE into the office, climb the back of the chair in one leap and prepaire to wait for that moving thing to poke it's head out... JUST ONCE... so that she can dispatch it.
28) When climbing the chair she digs her claws in so deeply that it takes her 30-60 seconds to pull them out so that she can actually move again. (Velcro Cat)

**To be Continued**