Music Makes the People Come Together...
Mood:
lyrical
I was twenty-two the first time anyone dedicated a song to me. I had gone home to see my Mom graduate college, and after the ceremony I ran into one of my good friends from school. We had rode the bus together to and from school and he had stood by me through Jr High when I was dealing with the `Super Nova Bitch Pack'. Later, in high school he had dated my best friend, and they had eventually gotten married.
We decided to go out and `catch-up' and while I had invited my Mom and Step-Dad and he his wife, they all declined and we found ourselves alone in a bar reminiscing. He was still married and they were expecting their first child. I was married too and just had my second child the year before.
As we sat in the bar and talked about love, life, old times, and other things we soon found we had renewed and reinforced the friendship we had shared before. The conversation moved from the bar, to a restaurant and eventually to his pickup truck in front of his house. We never kissed or even touched, unless you count the time he brushed the hair out of my face or the hug goodbye, and yet we both felt guilty non the less. It was obvious we had shared something.
I wrote him a letter on the way back to California, but never sent it, thinking that was the end of it. But then I got a phone call.
"What radio station do you listen to?"
He then went on to explain that he had a message for me and he wanted me to be sure to listen. I can't quite pin-point the reason it meant so much to me . Maybe it's because I relate so well to anything musical, or it could be the words of the song themselves.
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I knew somebody like you.
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,
I don't want to fall in love. (This girl is only gonna break your heart)
No, I don't want to fall in love. (This girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you.*
Someone was dreaming about me?
Nothing came of the relationship. We remained with our respective spouses (for the time being) and went on with our lives, and yet I never forgot that I was dream worthy.
Years later another gentleman dedicated a song. Not just to me, but to `us'. We had met on IRC (yes folks I was an internet chat addict), and immediatly hit it off. We met daily and chatted for hours. I'll admit here and now that he was my best friend, and as unlikely as folks think it can be, I was in love.
I was (still) married and knew that though nothing `physical' was happening, I needed to walk away. So I did. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. So hard that it didn't last, and because of my `coming and going' he dedicated the following to me.
Missing you... I've been missing you... missing you,
I've got the roses, I've got the wine,
With a little luck she will be here on time,
This is the place we used to go,
With romantic music and the lights down low,
And as you stand there amazed at the door,
And you're wondering what all this is for,
It's just a simple thing from me to you,
The lady that I adore, 'cos there's something,
That you should know, it's that
I've been missing you, more than words can say,
And that I've been thinking about it every day,
And the time we had just dancing nice and slow,
And I said now I've found you,
I'm never letting go; **
And another line that just jumped up and bit me:
You see if I think you are beautiful,
Someone else is going to feel it too,I would love to tell you that eventually I got strong enough to do what I should do and end the relationship. Unfortunately, fate did it for me. In May of 1998 my best friend stumbled while coming home late one night, fell down a flight of stairs, and died.
And to that man I say:
Thank you for thinking I was beautiful. You were right, someone else feels it too, and even though I'm happier then I've ever been before; I miss you too.
*Chris Isaak "Wicked Games"
**Chris De Burg "Missing You"
Posted by parttimemom
at 11:42 AM PDT
