Conundrum
Yeah folks, I'm going to ask some advice and hopefully I'll get a few responses though I've pretty much already decided what I'm going to do.

Here's the deal. We have this guy here at work, you've met him before, I call him F-wad*. He's a 50 something Jewish man, with a BIG mouth, who bitches and complains about EVERYTHING, with no constructive ideas on how to solve any of the millions of earth shattering issues he points out daily. (The only reason I bring up his Judaism it actually pertains to the story I'm going to tell.)

So, this guy has had a LOT of complaints brought against him. Not just because he complains but because in his tirades he always manages to get to the point that he starts to personally attack someone. Usually someone who isn't there. Over the past two days I have been privy to two of said attacks.

Two Days Ago: F-Wad pokes his head over the cubical in the midst of some political debate (they do that a lot in this place - more about that another day), and announces "So, who's going to do the background check on Abdul*?"

Now Abdul is this quiet Pakistani man who works in our department. He's always ready with a "Good Morning," and a smile, and is a dedicated family man. (I know because he asked my advice on marriage enrichment books - so that he could work on his marriage - Not that he NEEDED it he assured me, because his marriage was really good, but because he wanted to make it excellent)

Needless to say we were all completely surprised and confused at this outburst and more then one person said "Huh?" F-Wad went on to explain "Well, the government just made an announcement that they believe that people who were recently in Pakistan were not really on vacation, but were in camps training to be terrorists. Abdul just came back from Pakistan."

Of course you could have heard a pin drop at that point. Everyone had no idea how to respond. Of course he's oblivious to such reactions and goes on to say even MORE defaming things, but all along the same lines as above.

Then there was Last Night:
I can't even remember what everyone was talking about. I wasn't really playing attention, but what I heard come out of F-Wad's mouth...

"...we should just blow up the mosque and then go in and kill them all...(some of this garbled in my memory as I said I wasn't paying much attention at first)... THEY built it over the temple."

Several people responded "Who?" or "What temple"

At that, F-Wad got ALL riled up "Abdul and his friends.. the" *spitting* "Mooooslims. They razed the temple of Solemn and built a mosque on top of it. If I had the chance, I would kill them all myself!"

Of course this dissolved into a debate between F-Wad and `The Curch Lady" about weather or not the bible REALLY says "Thou shall not kill.." but at that point I was leaving the building.

Now I understand that (according to sorces) the Temple of Solemn is one of the most holy places in Judaism, and, due to the above mentioned act, people of the Jewish faith can no longer worship there. That is a despicable act, but to blame a group of people today for it, and to also have the will to KILL them over it. That completely freaks me out.

And so we come to my dilemma. Do I report this guy? I'm pretty sure that after the complaints that have come before mine, and the fact that he actually NAMED an employee and expressed the desire to KILL him that he would be fired. And after THAT do I worry that he may come back and FOLLOW through with some of the violence that he's expressed before?

Truthfully at this point I don't give a shit what he threatens. I want this guy and his poison OUT of the office and as far away from me as is possible.

Any thoughts, opinions?

*Names changed to protect the innocent**
**Namely ME

Barbie Girl
When my daughter C was little I used to call her `my own personal Barbie' because she had long blond hair, blue eyes, and a cute little figure that could wear ANYTHING. We would go out shopping and I would let her try on clothes for HOURS. She's 16 now and not only is she MY Barbie, but her friends call her Barbie Girl because she looks so much like the doll. Ok, except for the boobs, and C can bend her arms, and her feet aren't permanently fixed so that she has to walk en Pointe, but the blonde hair (past her waist) blue eyes and cute figure are still there.

Because of this, in January, when we were shopping for her Winter Formal she chose one in a color that would be best described as `Barbie Pink'. We then set out to find accessories: pretty black heals, long black satin opera gloves and a black ribbon choker. While shopping for her choker we happened to come across some of those `Christian' bracelets emblazoned with WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) My daughter looked at them and said "I need one that says `WWBD' what would BARBIE Do?" This, of course, set us OFF. We stood there describing all sorts of bizarre scenarios, and then ask the question, "What would Barbie do?" and then come up with an equally bizarre answer. Things like:

Q: You've just wrecked your car and the police are on their way... What do you do? What would Barbie do?
A: Go Shopping!

Q: You're best friend has admitted to you that she's been sleeping with her brother's best friend, who's married to your aunt. What do you do? What would Barbie do?
A: Call Ken and see if he wants to have a foursome tonight!

Of course this is one of those jokes that never dies. Now, whenever we've got a family dilemma we ALWAYS ask the question...

What would BARBIE do!?

Happy 7/1
Wow! It's July 1st already!? June went by with a WHOOSH.

This has been one of those LONG weeks. So long that I kept thinking it was Friday YESTERDAY. Needless to say that today I'm even more confused. I'm just SO ready for my vacation. Have I mentioned that I'm going on vacation? Of course that could be 1 of two things for my blog. Either I'll ignore it completely because I'm having so many bloggable adventures that I don't even have time to blog about it, or that I'll be posting 10 to 20 times a day because I'm HOME damnit. The best part of this comming week is that my Mom will be here to visit. She lives in Wyoming and I'm lucky to see her once a year (though we talk on the phone at LEAST once a week). My Mom and I are GREAT friends and she's promised this visit that she's going to take time out from visiting reletives to do some 'tourist-like' things. And _I_ get to be the tourguide! I can't wait! The down side to all of this? She's bringing my step-dad, and personally I could go a lifetime without seeing him. I'm hoping that when she comes to visit MY house that my step dad will stay back in MonkeyTown to visit all of HIS reletives. But you never know.

Anyway, I'm babbling. What can I say it's late, it's friday... or at least my body THINKS it's friday

Family Fun Night
Mood:  happy
I used to experience a certain amount of thrill when I would overhear my children enjoying a moment with their dad. Perhaps it was because those moments were so few and far between that I guarded them like little treasures. The sound of laughter from the other room would freeze me in my tracks and send shivers of joy down my spine.

You can imagine my surprise when I experienced that same thrill last night when, after my run I came into the living room to find my fianc? and my daughter laughing together as they played a board game. I've wanted them to like each other, and always expected that they would but to see them actually enjoying each other. That was a hallmark moment. I stepped back into the hallway and just watched and listened for a while. There was this little bubble of joy lodged in the back of my throat that stayed there for a very long time. I can recall the feeling just sitting here thinking about it. I suppose a great deal of my happiness had to do with the fact that this man, who I am going to marry would set aside what he was doing and play Clue with a 10 year old. And not just ANY 10 year old, but MY 10 year old. Not many people would do that.

There have been a few other moments like that recently, and like before, I treasure them, but for other reasons. I think it has something to do with having two (or more) of the most important people in the world to me, enjoying themselves at the same exact moment. I'm just goofy like that.

More Pussy Tails
Mood:  happy
I mentioned before that my cat is bonkers and refuses to drink from her water dish. Instead she only drinks from running faucets. Until last night. Last night she informed us that she's willing to drink out of 1/2 filled glasses left sitting on the table. I stood amazed as she shoved her head into the glass (her entire head mind you) and took a few laps. When she desided that this was MUCH too easy so she tried another tactic. This involved dipping her paw in the water and then licking the water from it. Thinking that perhaps the water was too low I added to the glass, but that didn't make any difference. She cotinued 'patting' the water and then licking the paw. All the while, a perfectly good BOWL of water sits on the floor nearby. Can someone please 'splain this to me!?

Some Enchanted Evening
Mood:  bright
Last night was a good night. The kind I want to save `snapshot like' in my memory banks so that I can take it out and examine it on dark days and remember what good days feel like. You might be thinking "Oh she had one of those hearts and flowers, candlelight and romantic dinners kind of nights." But that wasn't it at all. The best thing about last night was that it was the kind of night that could happen anytime, anywhere. It didn't need special trappings or some momentous occasion. It just WAS.

It started the minute I got home. My honey met me at the car, pulled open the door, wrapped me in his arms and held me for a while. When he pulled away I giggled and said "Carry Me!" He laughed, made as if he was going to pick me up, pretended he couldn't and then turned around and shouted `Piggy back ride!'. How could I resist? I hopped on board and laughed the ENTIRE trip around the car.

The rest of the night pretty much followed in line with that. Laughing, joking, loving, snuggling, kissing and all the other stuff that makes people around us gag. My ten-year-old daughter (who is still visiting) was pretty fed up with us by the time we got home from the store and finally walked out of the room and told us "Tell me when you two are done!"

We ended the evening by watching "Some like it Hot." Can I just say that Marilyn Monroe is just... WHEW! I don't care WHAT today's standards are, I want to look like THAT woman. (I already have the hourglass shape going for me). The best part is N agrees with me. All the woman of that era are just so wonderfully curvaceous. It makes it so much fun to watch those movies!

Needless to say, that when we were picking out what movie to watch S wasn't even interested in some black and white movie with people she had never heard of in it. Surprisingly she sat down to watch it with us anyway, and about 10 minutes in was captivated. Sitting on the couch with my honey on one side of me, my daughter on the other while ogling Marilyn and laughing at Tony and Jack was just the perfect capper on the day.

I can't wait to do it again!

Weekend Calendar
Mood:  lazy
Just down the road from my house it was NASCAR weekend. A few miles further they were celebrating Gay Pride week with a parade and 'weekend activities'.

I guess you could say there was something for everyone.

Yeah, in our world THIS is a fight
Mood:  cool
So, I've been cranky all weekend. I started my period, it's been hot, I have to sell my bug and drive a van everyday. You, know the usual stuff. One of the things that really chaps my hide is having to spend the weekend cleaning house. In the midst of this stuffy heat I had to go and do laundry, a chore I hate in normal circumstances, much less those that involve 90+ degree weather. N was finishing up the last of the homework for the last week of his last class, so he was busy doing all that `study' type stuff that he does. Yes, logically I know he's busy, but still somehow I reserved this tiny little kernel of resentment at having to do the laundry ALONE. Then the dishes... and you get the idea.

By Sunday afternoon I was pretty grumpy. As I said I think most of it is due to PMS. These hormones of mine tend to make mountains of molehills. N walked through the hall and commented on a job half finished by my daughter. He was pointing out the lax attitude of today's youth when it comes to work etc etc. Me, being cranky turned away, and shouted to my daughter "S, come in here and finish this up so I can stop being lectured."

Poor N looked as if he had been slapped. Probably because I have mentioned before that one of the biggest annoyances of my ex's was that he liked to lecture me. For HOURS! He walked away but I followed, a little contrite at this point. I assured him that I was joking. But his feelings were hurt. He did what any human does when their feelings are hurt, they snap back. HE then went on to vivisect me. No - I'm sorry that's too harsh. He just said some things that were, while truthful, were harsh. Basically just, "Fine, if that's the way you want it, I'll stop saying anything, and then this place will go to shit, and then.. and then..." He couldn't even think of what would happen next, but that was all it took. Of course this then PISSED ME off. So I went all dark and silent.

I say all this to illustrate how lucky I am and what a wonderful relationship I have. You see, I went all dark and silent. Because I hate confrontation and also because I'm one of those people who like to stay in control, and I figured why make a bad situation worse? N left the room and kept picking up various parts of the house while I put away my clothes in the bedroom. I then went on to pick up other things and put them in the appropriate places. This lead me to crossing paths with N. Each time He made sure to show an appropriate and increasing amount of affection. So that by the fifth time or so I was just standing in the middle of the room with his arms wrapped around me and his lips pressed against my forehead.

He rarely says `I'm sorry,' but that man always apologizes, and I love him with all my heart and soul.

We've gone and done it
Mood:  not sure
After some fancy financial work we were able to get the money for the van without selling my car (yet). So Friday evening N calls the illustrious Jimmy Chang to let him know we would be coming over to pick the van. His answer? "Yes, it still here. Someone touch it, but no one took it."

Ick! Someone touched my van! heheheh. So, we gave it anther look and then went inside to fix up the paper work. One would think that it would be easy to pay cash for a car. It took us over an hour! Sheesh! Jimmy was great throughout, but then (dun-dun-dunt!) he handed us over to the finance guy to finish the deal. What a SLIMEBALL! We kept telling him that we didn't want the warrantee, that we couldn't afford the warrantee, that we had just enough money for the CAR. This guy didn't want to hear it. Of course I realized that it was because he wasn't making any money off the deal because we weren't financing. In fact, he kept trying to talk us into financing so that we could fit the warrantee in. I finally spoke up and said. "We can't faineance because we already have TWO car loans."

"OH, I'm sure we can work around that!" He made a few calls, got wind of our fica score and that was all it took! You've never seen someone push people out of his office so quickly! heheheh. For once my poor credit rating did me some good.

So we get the car, N starts driving the van home and I'm driving my bug. We're on the phone, well because we're sick like that, when he goes. "SHIT there's a HUGE crack in the windshield!"

Seems the numbers of the price had been hiding a huge chip and a crack about 12 inches long. Needless to say, we turned around and drove straight back to the dealership. They swore they didn't know it was there, and that they are going to fix the windshield right away. So, we'll see.

I have to admit it's nice to have a nice big vehicle. Knowing we can load up anything and everything and still have room for all the people is cool. It's also nice to be driving a nice strong Chevy v-6. I love Chevy's and for years that's all I drove. But as N put it after looking over at a young thing in a convertible. "It's really hard to look cool when driving a mini van!"

And there is something about being practical that rubs me the wrong way. Sick, I know it!

Still, I've got a LOT of work to do. Since I'm not using my car for a trade in, and still have to sell it, it means I have to clean it up enough that a private seller would pay blue book for it. After THAT, I've got to come up with the difference between the selling price and what I owe. At this point I'm just praying a LOT. Maybe I'll win the lottery and not have to sell the bug, or maybe (to quote N) purple monkeys will fly out of my ass.

Jimmy Chang Car Salesman Extraordinaire
Last night, I had the pleasure of doing business with the best car salesman I've ever met. No, I haven't gotten rid of my Bug yet, but not from lack of effort by one Jimmy Chang.

But, before I sing the praises of Mr. Chang, I would like to point out once again why I love my man so much!

We were getting ready to leave last night and I was pretty tense and terse. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of putting up a brave face, but as we were walking out the door N says "Are you sure about this?"

I couldn't even look him in the eye when I answered "No... but I know it has to be done."

"I knew there was something wrong, I could see it in your face" *pause* "We really need a car with more room"

"LOGICALLY, I KNOW this, but the rest of me doesn't always follow logic..."

He sat, thinking about this for a moment, and then he said, "How about this. We get the van, and then when we pay it and the Jeep off, we'll get you a convertible Bug."

I shook my head at him, part of my brain going `right, like that would happen'. But somehow, him knowing and understanding how I felt, and doing everything he could to make it better, made it better.

As we got close to the Car dealership, we gave them a call to let them know we were coming. N talked to Jimmy who seemed very excited. "I'll get the car ready! You ask for Jimmy...ok?"

As we approached the dealership we spotted the van and of course did the goofy tourist thing. *pointing* "Oh look! There it is!". We had to pass the place, go to the next light and turn around so it took a bit to actually pull onto the lot, and to our amazement, the van was GONE! We wandered around a bit, asked a few people for `Jimmy' and were told to he would be a few minutes.

A few minutes later we were approached by a elderly oriental gentleman dressed in jeans, a polo shirt and baseball cap. "Are you N___? Yes? I'm Jimmy Chang." He was so NOT what I would have expected: the casual attire, the age, the thick accent. But he had a fantastic smile and an enthusiastic hand shake. He won TONS of points by doing his best to talk to BOTH of us, meeting my eye every time he spoke and directing just as many of his comments to me as he did to N. Even if I did have to ask him to repeat some things so I could understand. As he lead us out to look at the van he casually mentioned "You saw this on ad for $7,999, less then it says right?"

N and I looked at each other and he shrugged. He had done all the research and had written down the info he had found in the internet. He looked at his papper, looked at me, shook his head then told Jimmy "Uh, yeah..."

By the tone of N's voice it was OBVIOUS we had no idea what the guy was talking about. Jimmy looked at both of us in turn, grinned and said "You saw it for $1000 less! If they advertised it for that we'll make sure they give it to your for that price. Just say yes!"

Needless to say the guy had already impressed us. He had taken the van out back when he heard we were coming and had rinsed off the dust. And NOW he was telling us that somewhere, someone had advertised this van for $1000 less and was telling us he would give us that price even though we hadn't seen the ad.

We took the van for the usual test drive. I made N drive it because test-driving a vehicle makes me so nervous I can't function. Jimmy sat in the back he had kept up a running inventory of this van's merits. "You want to tow? This is a good van for this, built on a truck cassis." "It has two air conditioners, and the kids can plug in, here in the back to listen to their music." And so on. Suddenly he says "Try the air conditioner. Make sure it works. You try everything, make sure it works."

So I did. Nigel started laughing at me as I pushed buttons, flipped switches all the while going. "Ooo what's THIS button do?"

After we parked, Jimmy hopped out of the van, told us, "You look it over one more time" and he went back inside. When he came back out he had a newspaper ad in his hand. "Here," he told N. "See it's advertised for 7.9. You tell them you saw it in the paper. Not on the internet. They have to honor this price, they advertised it."

Of course we weren't going to argue with the guy! Then came the shock, the blow this poor enthusiastic sales guy wasn't expecting. We told him we wanted to trade in the BUG. He took all my information, 2001 Beatle, 122,000 miles... amount owed almost 10k. He went into the back and then came back out, downcast. "here's the deal.." he started out. He went on to explain that trade in for the car was listed at 6,000 and that there was no way to hide 4,000 in the loan for the van. "But, there may be another way..." He then explained that we could LEASE a NEW van, hide the $4,000 in the lease and we would have a car that seats seven.

I have to tell you, the thought of getting a new van with leather seats and all the new fangled doodads was a bit appealing to me. But, this was a Mazda dealership. And I wasn't too thrilled with the MPV. N nearly fainted when he saw the sticker price of $35k. Then Jimmy said the thing that had us laughing the rest of the night. "Of course you can't tow with it, it's a JAPANESE car!"

The statement in and of itself was funny enough, but to hear it come out of the mouth of this fifty-something oriental man, with his thick accent, and with the OBVIOUS distain. It was all I could do to not burst out laughing right then and there!

As leasing wasn't for us, Jimmy was cool, he didn't pressure us, he didn't push, he handed us our paper work, told us "This is yours, you keep it, no one look at it but you." And then added "You go home and think about it. Call me." And then escorted us to our car. N shook his hand, which seemed to startle him. I had my hands full at this point so I nodded. To my surprise and pleasure this nice gentleman gave me a very formal and very oriental bow.

As we backed out, I had to tell N, "Look out!" Jimmy had jumped in the path of our car and was waving us down. "You pull this car over there. I'm going to see if I can get this guy to say OK to 10 thousand for it. The sales manager is gone. Shhhhh, we'll get this guy to say OK and then you can take the van"

It was very clandestine and very SWEET of him to give it another try. Unfortunately, he couldn't even convince THIS guy (whoever that happened to be) to ok $10k for my car, so it's still mine and we don't have a van yet. But I have to say, that was the most pleasant car experience I've EVER walked away from.

If you are ever in Redwood City, stop by Redwood City Mazda and tell Jimmy Chang I said HEY.