How to Piss me Off
Mood:  irritated
Please allow me a moment to rant...

When I asked Richard Cranium (the Ex) when they were going on vacation (and thus I would need to watch the kids) he answered (on several occasions) July 7th. Ok, fine. I took the last three days of this week off in preparation of having my three `little' ones over. This weekend I was informed that they were leaving EARLY on the 7th and that they were planning to drive over to San Francisco on the 6th and stay in a hotel before leaving. Basically Richard says to me "You have to work on Tuesday? What are you going to do about the kids?"

To say I was annoyed was ah, well it would about cover it. HE changes his plans and it's MY problem? The worse part was that I had TRIED to get the 6th off, but my boss had specifically asked me to come in to make sure that things were moving forward on this big project I'm working on. FINE. So I call the ex about 9:00am yesterday and ask him what their plans are. I figured that if he could swing by and drop the kids off, I could manage to entertain them until I got off work, take them to the mall or something. He informs me that they were running behind schedule and that they REALLY wanted to get to their hotel and that he could meet me in Pleasanton (About 45 miles from my work) at 2:00. Since I had a meeting at 1:30, there was NO WAY I could do it.

So, I call him at about 1:00, just to see how things are going. After some hemming and hawing he lets me know that they still aren't ready to leave. I offer to rush my meeting, and be in Pleasanton by 3:00 if he would bring the girls that far. (Just the girls because my son had baseball practice and was being picked up by my mom who is brining HIM today). After explaining to me that they REALLY wanted to get to their hotel, and how they wanted to get some sleep etc etc, Richard finally agree to meet me at 3:00.

I rushed my meeting, got it over by 2:00 and then called Richard to let him know that I would be leaving work. His response? "Oh, ok we having left yet.."

I was not surprised but glad I wasn't going to be the one to make them wait and offered "Oh, then I can hang out here a few minutes then."

Him, "Well... Not knowing how traffic is and all..."

Me, "Alright, I'll leave right away..."

So I rushed around, let a few people know I would be back and drove as fast as I could to Pleasanton. I got there at 2:45. I called to let them know I was there, and there was something in the tone of Richard's voice that told me I was soon going to be REALLY pissed. And I WAS. I find out, that they STILL haven't left, still need to get the girls some lunch, AND have to get GAS! "We'll be there as soon as we can, maybe 45 minutes?"

GAH!! Then, to cover for his OWN asinine behavior, he goes on to chew ME out because he says "Your son is really upset, he doesn't know what's going on, he can't get a hold of your mother, and he's not sure who's picking him up after practice.

GRRRRRRR! Richard knew as well as I did that my mom was going to pick him up. But in his usual manipulative way had managed to work my son all up right before taking off for vacation. Typical.

I called my son, reassured him that mom was picking him up and ALSO that the only reason I wasn't picking HIM up too was because I had to work until 7:00pm. Told him that he would be coming to my house today and calmed him down a bit. Then I settled in to wait, and wait, and wait. 4:15 the ex finally shows up! Do you think he says "I'm sorry?" of COURSE not. Because just like everything else it's never his fault, it's never about anyone but him. The fact that I had, at this point, taken TWO hours off work, and I was still at least an HOUR from work was unimportant.

Anyway, I got the girls and all is well. Got back to work, finished up the things I need to finish before going on vacation, and here I am!

Now I just need to clean house and figure out how I'm going to sleep 7 in my two bedroom apartment!

Weekend Update
Mood:  don't ask
I'm sure you're all on pins and needles to know how my weekend went. I'll give you the short version.

Saturday:
We were supposed to get up at 4:00 so we could watch the dawn patrol at the balloon rally in Windsor. Needless to say when the alarm went off, N slapped the `off' button, rolled over and snuggled back under the covers. I woke up at 5:00 and finally got everyone up and going. We made it in time to see the 6:30 liftoff, so all was not lost.

The balloons were GREAT! Over 25 in the air of various size and shape. I loved all the rainbow colors. The most amusing, though, was this odd shape that we watched blow up for a VERY long time. We had a great deal of fun watching it blow up and trying to guess what it could possibly be. Then I FINALLY got it! It was Noah's Arc! As soon as THAT lifted off there was a NEW puzzle to solve. I was the first to recognize this one as well. I pointed and shouted "Look! It's JESUS!"

Needless to say, hilarity ensued. Talks of "Seeing Jesus" etc. The most brilliant moment, though, came when one of the guys standing next to us turned and shouted. "Jesus is coming back!"

After that GREAT start to the day we were all aglow and ready to enjoy the great outdoors. We went hiking, then grabbed lunch, and then drove to another regional park to go hiking again.

When parking N noted glass along the ground and mentioned that it appeared that some cars must have been broken into recently. *cue tension building music* Being honest and upstanding individuals who assume that those sorts of things don't really happen because, after all we would never do them ourselves, we parked anyway. Jokingly we called out to a couple of ladies resting after a run, that we weren't sure if we should leave our car there with two such sinister looking individuals nearby. They laughed and told us that some cars had been broken into the day before. *cue more tension* N thought about it for a moment and then said "They wouldn't do it two days in a row!?" *music's screaming now, but we as the blithely ignorant hero's in this scenario continue onward*

After about four hours of hiking, we're wearily trudging toward our van (yes the new van we just bought last week and had yet to put insurance on) when N says "FUCK! The van's windows have been broken"

In my mind I immediately took inventory of what I knew was in the van: Some clothes, some food, my phone, my palm pilot, a GPS receiver, N's laptop... Of course the lap top was our first concern and you could imagine our surprise when we opened up the van and it was still there. And so was my palm and the GPS, and HOLY COW we had left a set of keys with the IGNITION key on it in there too...

Our first impression, some jerk kids were being vandalistic.... By the time we got home I realized my cell phone was gone, and so was the backpack we had just bought for one of the kids (that was practically empty). Me, being the masochistic *bitch* that I am, called my phone and actually TALKED to the guy. I wanted to laugh in his face for spending so much time and energy and getting basically NOTHING! But I was still too upset thinking about the fact that this vehicle that we had bought for the express purpose of hauling around a shit load of people, would now be unavailable over the next week when I will have not only my KIDS but my mother visiting! I guess we shouldn't have laughed at Jesus earlier in the day.

So, the phone is turned off, the guy got an empty $13 backpack and, (we discovered yesterday) a $70 empty backpack. Not a whole lot, but we're left with a $9,000 car we can't drive...

But, here's why I love my man so much. The kids are upset, _I_ am upset, N is upset, but when the kids say "I guess we don't get to watch the fireworks" he says "Yes we will! We aren't going to let something like this ruin OUR day!" And we didn't. We had a GREAT time watching an AWSOME show.

Sunday:
My son had a baseball game and being that there were rumors that this might be his LAST we decided to go. My mother ALSO wanted to go, as she doesn't get a chance to see the kids play very often. I - was coming from Slowville, the ex and two kids from Monkeytown. My MOM was in Monkeytown also as that's where most of my relatives live. Got that? Alright, so my son's game is in Locktown - a little closer to Monkeytown then Slowville but certainly on the way. Now, an additional complication. My Mom wanted to come to the game, but didn't have a ride. I offered to give her a ride, but my car only holds four and I had N, IB, S and myself in the car. SO, the idea was, I'll drive to Monkeytown, drop off S, pick up my M and then drive to Locktown to watch game. Still with me? Heheheh.

About half way to Monkeytown I call Richard (the ex). I explain to him that I need to trop of S so that I could pick up my Mom and bring her to the game. HE then informs me "Oh, well were ready to leave - now, we won't be here for you to drop off S___." GAH! BUT he also tells me "M____ is already at the game, why don't you drop S____ off there."

So, not an ideal situation, but one that will have to do. I find M's game, get ready to drop off S when the phone rings again. It's Richard "Hey, why don't you just stay there, I'll give your Mom a ride..."

I'm thinking DESPERATLY trying to come up with a reason why that's NOT a good idea, and I can't come up with anything. So, I stutter out "Uh, um, well, if you can get a hold of her..."

Ends up, MY Mom rides to Locktown with my ex and his fianc? (he apparently asked her to marry him over the weekend). How crunchy was that for the fianc?? My mom's impression of her? `She's really nice, what does she SEE in him!?"

My thoughts exactly -

So the game went well. Ok, not well they lost, but my son played well and hustled the entire time. We dropped mom back off in Monkeytown and after goofing off a bit headed back home. After a stressful, hot day of way too much driving we got a `bonus'. As we were driving home we got to see FOUR firework shows!

Monday
We did NOTHING but play board games and hang out. It felt SO good to be home!

Today
I have to work :( but as soon as I have my crap done, I'm out of here and off to spend FIVE DAYS not thinking about work! YIPPY!

Vacation here I come

I'm a Wizard, he's a wizard, she's a wizard, wouldn't you like to be a wizard too?
Mood:  cool
My Inner Hero - Wizard!





There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

Conundrum
Yeah folks, I'm going to ask some advice and hopefully I'll get a few responses though I've pretty much already decided what I'm going to do.

Here's the deal. We have this guy here at work, you've met him before, I call him F-wad*. He's a 50 something Jewish man, with a BIG mouth, who bitches and complains about EVERYTHING, with no constructive ideas on how to solve any of the millions of earth shattering issues he points out daily. (The only reason I bring up his Judaism it actually pertains to the story I'm going to tell.)

So, this guy has had a LOT of complaints brought against him. Not just because he complains but because in his tirades he always manages to get to the point that he starts to personally attack someone. Usually someone who isn't there. Over the past two days I have been privy to two of said attacks.

Two Days Ago: F-Wad pokes his head over the cubical in the midst of some political debate (they do that a lot in this place - more about that another day), and announces "So, who's going to do the background check on Abdul*?"

Now Abdul is this quiet Pakistani man who works in our department. He's always ready with a "Good Morning," and a smile, and is a dedicated family man. (I know because he asked my advice on marriage enrichment books - so that he could work on his marriage - Not that he NEEDED it he assured me, because his marriage was really good, but because he wanted to make it excellent)

Needless to say we were all completely surprised and confused at this outburst and more then one person said "Huh?" F-Wad went on to explain "Well, the government just made an announcement that they believe that people who were recently in Pakistan were not really on vacation, but were in camps training to be terrorists. Abdul just came back from Pakistan."

Of course you could have heard a pin drop at that point. Everyone had no idea how to respond. Of course he's oblivious to such reactions and goes on to say even MORE defaming things, but all along the same lines as above.

Then there was Last Night:
I can't even remember what everyone was talking about. I wasn't really playing attention, but what I heard come out of F-Wad's mouth...

"...we should just blow up the mosque and then go in and kill them all...(some of this garbled in my memory as I said I wasn't paying much attention at first)... THEY built it over the temple."

Several people responded "Who?" or "What temple"

At that, F-Wad got ALL riled up "Abdul and his friends.. the" *spitting* "Mooooslims. They razed the temple of Solemn and built a mosque on top of it. If I had the chance, I would kill them all myself!"

Of course this dissolved into a debate between F-Wad and `The Curch Lady" about weather or not the bible REALLY says "Thou shall not kill.." but at that point I was leaving the building.

Now I understand that (according to sorces) the Temple of Solemn is one of the most holy places in Judaism, and, due to the above mentioned act, people of the Jewish faith can no longer worship there. That is a despicable act, but to blame a group of people today for it, and to also have the will to KILL them over it. That completely freaks me out.

And so we come to my dilemma. Do I report this guy? I'm pretty sure that after the complaints that have come before mine, and the fact that he actually NAMED an employee and expressed the desire to KILL him that he would be fired. And after THAT do I worry that he may come back and FOLLOW through with some of the violence that he's expressed before?

Truthfully at this point I don't give a shit what he threatens. I want this guy and his poison OUT of the office and as far away from me as is possible.

Any thoughts, opinions?

*Names changed to protect the innocent**
**Namely ME

Barbie Girl
When my daughter C was little I used to call her `my own personal Barbie' because she had long blond hair, blue eyes, and a cute little figure that could wear ANYTHING. We would go out shopping and I would let her try on clothes for HOURS. She's 16 now and not only is she MY Barbie, but her friends call her Barbie Girl because she looks so much like the doll. Ok, except for the boobs, and C can bend her arms, and her feet aren't permanently fixed so that she has to walk en Pointe, but the blonde hair (past her waist) blue eyes and cute figure are still there.

Because of this, in January, when we were shopping for her Winter Formal she chose one in a color that would be best described as `Barbie Pink'. We then set out to find accessories: pretty black heals, long black satin opera gloves and a black ribbon choker. While shopping for her choker we happened to come across some of those `Christian' bracelets emblazoned with WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) My daughter looked at them and said "I need one that says `WWBD' what would BARBIE Do?" This, of course, set us OFF. We stood there describing all sorts of bizarre scenarios, and then ask the question, "What would Barbie do?" and then come up with an equally bizarre answer. Things like:

Q: You've just wrecked your car and the police are on their way... What do you do? What would Barbie do?
A: Go Shopping!

Q: You're best friend has admitted to you that she's been sleeping with her brother's best friend, who's married to your aunt. What do you do? What would Barbie do?
A: Call Ken and see if he wants to have a foursome tonight!

Of course this is one of those jokes that never dies. Now, whenever we've got a family dilemma we ALWAYS ask the question...

What would BARBIE do!?

Happy 7/1
Wow! It's July 1st already!? June went by with a WHOOSH.

This has been one of those LONG weeks. So long that I kept thinking it was Friday YESTERDAY. Needless to say that today I'm even more confused. I'm just SO ready for my vacation. Have I mentioned that I'm going on vacation? Of course that could be 1 of two things for my blog. Either I'll ignore it completely because I'm having so many bloggable adventures that I don't even have time to blog about it, or that I'll be posting 10 to 20 times a day because I'm HOME damnit. The best part of this comming week is that my Mom will be here to visit. She lives in Wyoming and I'm lucky to see her once a year (though we talk on the phone at LEAST once a week). My Mom and I are GREAT friends and she's promised this visit that she's going to take time out from visiting reletives to do some 'tourist-like' things. And _I_ get to be the tourguide! I can't wait! The down side to all of this? She's bringing my step-dad, and personally I could go a lifetime without seeing him. I'm hoping that when she comes to visit MY house that my step dad will stay back in MonkeyTown to visit all of HIS reletives. But you never know.

Anyway, I'm babbling. What can I say it's late, it's friday... or at least my body THINKS it's friday

Family Fun Night
Mood:  happy
I used to experience a certain amount of thrill when I would overhear my children enjoying a moment with their dad. Perhaps it was because those moments were so few and far between that I guarded them like little treasures. The sound of laughter from the other room would freeze me in my tracks and send shivers of joy down my spine.

You can imagine my surprise when I experienced that same thrill last night when, after my run I came into the living room to find my fianc? and my daughter laughing together as they played a board game. I've wanted them to like each other, and always expected that they would but to see them actually enjoying each other. That was a hallmark moment. I stepped back into the hallway and just watched and listened for a while. There was this little bubble of joy lodged in the back of my throat that stayed there for a very long time. I can recall the feeling just sitting here thinking about it. I suppose a great deal of my happiness had to do with the fact that this man, who I am going to marry would set aside what he was doing and play Clue with a 10 year old. And not just ANY 10 year old, but MY 10 year old. Not many people would do that.

There have been a few other moments like that recently, and like before, I treasure them, but for other reasons. I think it has something to do with having two (or more) of the most important people in the world to me, enjoying themselves at the same exact moment. I'm just goofy like that.

More Pussy Tails
Mood:  happy
I mentioned before that my cat is bonkers and refuses to drink from her water dish. Instead she only drinks from running faucets. Until last night. Last night she informed us that she's willing to drink out of 1/2 filled glasses left sitting on the table. I stood amazed as she shoved her head into the glass (her entire head mind you) and took a few laps. When she desided that this was MUCH too easy so she tried another tactic. This involved dipping her paw in the water and then licking the water from it. Thinking that perhaps the water was too low I added to the glass, but that didn't make any difference. She cotinued 'patting' the water and then licking the paw. All the while, a perfectly good BOWL of water sits on the floor nearby. Can someone please 'splain this to me!?

Some Enchanted Evening
Mood:  bright
Last night was a good night. The kind I want to save `snapshot like' in my memory banks so that I can take it out and examine it on dark days and remember what good days feel like. You might be thinking "Oh she had one of those hearts and flowers, candlelight and romantic dinners kind of nights." But that wasn't it at all. The best thing about last night was that it was the kind of night that could happen anytime, anywhere. It didn't need special trappings or some momentous occasion. It just WAS.

It started the minute I got home. My honey met me at the car, pulled open the door, wrapped me in his arms and held me for a while. When he pulled away I giggled and said "Carry Me!" He laughed, made as if he was going to pick me up, pretended he couldn't and then turned around and shouted `Piggy back ride!'. How could I resist? I hopped on board and laughed the ENTIRE trip around the car.

The rest of the night pretty much followed in line with that. Laughing, joking, loving, snuggling, kissing and all the other stuff that makes people around us gag. My ten-year-old daughter (who is still visiting) was pretty fed up with us by the time we got home from the store and finally walked out of the room and told us "Tell me when you two are done!"

We ended the evening by watching "Some like it Hot." Can I just say that Marilyn Monroe is just... WHEW! I don't care WHAT today's standards are, I want to look like THAT woman. (I already have the hourglass shape going for me). The best part is N agrees with me. All the woman of that era are just so wonderfully curvaceous. It makes it so much fun to watch those movies!

Needless to say, that when we were picking out what movie to watch S wasn't even interested in some black and white movie with people she had never heard of in it. Surprisingly she sat down to watch it with us anyway, and about 10 minutes in was captivated. Sitting on the couch with my honey on one side of me, my daughter on the other while ogling Marilyn and laughing at Tony and Jack was just the perfect capper on the day.

I can't wait to do it again!

Weekend Calendar
Mood:  lazy
Just down the road from my house it was NASCAR weekend. A few miles further they were celebrating Gay Pride week with a parade and 'weekend activities'.

I guess you could say there was something for everyone.