Deep thoughts from a shallow mind
It's been an interesting couple of weeks. With all the chaos around us, and even with N being so sick he missed four days work, somehow we've managed to feel closer and stronger then ever.

All those things that were bothering me before we've addressed. No, not all at once with one heartfelt, yet overblown e-mail, but one at a time as appropriate, in manageable amounts. It's been GREAT.

And now, just as things are starting to feel comfortable and `normal' again. Just as we've fallen back into the pattern of sitting around, smiling into each other eyes, we got the news. He's being sent out of town again!

Luckily, this time, our days before and immediately after won't be consumed by children, but it still scares me, just a little. And yet, we survived. Perhaps it will be easier to be apart, maybe we'll feel safer this time. There is no doubt in my mind that the previous trips scared us both. I know for me, being apart taught me some really scary lessons. I learned that I can't go back to the footloose person I was before I met him. I can't just `fall' back into a lifestyle that doesn't revolve around him. My orbit became lopsided and I was in real danger of falling into the sun. And before I get angry emails about how a woman should be able to stand on her own, please note that I can, and do stand on my own when I need to, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And while many women are made miserable by feeling their life revolves around this single person and having their heart reside outside their bodies, I'm lucky, because his world also revolves around me. Therefore, there is no doubt in my mind that he was just as wobbly and scared as I was during that time.

I've discovered that it's entirely possible to both cling to and push away a person. I both did a lot of that over the past few months as I tried to resolve the issues that were uncovered in those weeks he was gone. Perhaps those issues are cleared now, perhaps he'll come home this time and we'll be able to return to the state we're in now without all the crap in between. Or, perhaps there will be another period of learning and growing to come. Either way, I'm willing to go through it because I've found the other half of me, and I would NEVER give that up without a fight.

How a cat changed my life
It all started when I got a cat

Because cats were not allowed in my apartment, when my landlord found out I was given 30 days to move out

The cat ran away shortly after that

Because I now had NO cat but still had to move I was able to room with a friend

Because I was rooming with this friend, he was able to get me a ridiculously high paying consulting job at the same place he was consulting at

Because I had a ridiculously high paying job, I was able to sign up at a ridiculously high priced dating service

And thus I met my fiance and have lived happily ever after

And, as you might have guessed, I now own another cat...

Question
Alright folks, just out of curiosity, how many of you started your weekend with breakfast in bed and ended it puting together workout equipment? Anyone?

That was my weekend and pretty much sums up the way it went. Saturday morning I got breakfast in bed, and eating it exhausted me so much that I ended up sleeping 'til 2:00pm!

I guess I needed it.

Sunday we started out returning a faulty barbell, started looking at benches and ended up bringing home....



Isn't she a beaut?

An open letter
Dear Vendor Dude,

I understand that the office is cold and that has caused my nipples to leave facinating bumps on the landscape of my chest. I can also understand the less then mild facination that might cause your eyes to linger a little longer on said portions of my anatomy. What I don't understand is your need to stare at my breasts and only my breasts every single time I walk past you!

Do me a favor and go pop your tent in someone elses office, because I looked too, and it wasn't all that impressive.

Signed

Endowed and usually Understanding

100 Things
1. I was born in Germany
2. My parents are Americans
3. I have a German birth certificate
4. I have naturalization papers
5. Because of the afore mentioned points, and the fact that my maiden name is German, people often assume that I am a first generation American
6. I often don't debase them of this notion
7. I set foot on American soil for the first time when I was 18 months old
8. I don't speak German
9. My parents divorced when I was six
10. I have four brothers
11. I have two sisters
12. I'm an only child
13. Two of my brothers are younger then my children
14. I grew up living with my mom and her husband
15. When I was growing up we moved 13 times in 10 years
16. Since I left home, my mom has only moved twice
17. I left home when I was 16
18. I went to five high schools
19. One of my high schools had 25 students total
20. One of my high schools had 3500 students total
21. I play trombone
22. I missed going with my school to a national band competition because I had "Unsatisfactory Citizenship" in two classes
23. I was getting straight A's at the time
24. My dad has the word DAM tattooed on his forearm - it's his initials
25. My dad has been married three times and is now living with a different woman
26. My initials spell something too
27. I graduated high school on a Thursday and got married on Saturday
28. I was married 13 years
29. I was 19 when I had my first child
30. I have three children
31. I have a nice singing voice
32. I often enunciate while talking as if I'm singing
33. This makes people think I have a foreign accent
34. My hair is (in real life) light brown
35. My eyes are blue
36. I've been overweight since my Jr year in High school
37. I thought I was overweight long before then
38. I have nice cleavage
39. I am a project manager
40. I'm not afraid of public speaking
41. I'm not afraid of dying
42. I believe in God
43. I was so shy in school that the other kids thought I was stuck up
44. I went to a counselor in Jr High
45. I was accepted to be a foreign exchange student but we moved
46. I skipped kindergarten because I could already read
47. I don't remember `learning' to read, I just remember doing it
48. By my second year of school I was already reading at a sixth grade level
49. I never fit in at school `socially'
50. We moved after 5th grade so my mother let me repeat the grade even though I had passed so I could be the same age as everyone else
51. It didn't really help `socially'
52. I usually smile while walking down the street and while shopping
53. Perfect strangers often greet me or talk to me for no reason
54. Especially the homeless
55. Two children that I played with in the fifth grade were abducted and never found
56. I babysat for my mother for one whole summer and earned $222.20 - I bought a horse
57. She was six months old and had never been touched by a human before
58. I did all her training
59. I cried when I had to sell her
60. I have a sleep disorder that makes it hard for me to fall asleep at night, or wake up feeling refreshed in the morning
61. I have an extreme form PMS called PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder)
62. My PMDD is mild
63. it's actually worse AFTER my period then before
64. My children were born in 3:15, 3, and 2:45 hours respectively
65. I was present at the birth of all three of my mother's other children
66. They were born at home
67. My oldest was present when her sister was born
68. I've never went to college
69. My bowling average is 89
70. I think buying gifts is a perfectly acceptable way to show your love to someone
71. My birthday is nine days after Christmas and growing up it would often get forgotten in the post holiday let down and back to school rush
72. I still resent that
73. I had spinal meningitis when I was 9 months old and almost died
74. I'm still waiting for the day when this effects my life somehow
75. I learned to swim when I was 18 months old
76. I almost drown when I was four while swimming in a canal
77. My dad rescued me
78. He was my hero long before then
79. I once belonged to a synchronized swimming team
80. We moved right before our first competition.
81. I'm addicted to diet Pepsi
82. I can drink diet Pepsi or diet coke interchangeably
83. I'm really good at a lot of things, but not GREAT at any one thing
84. This is because I don't `apply' myself
85. I actually LIKE sex
86. My fianc? calls me punkin - he's the only person who ever has
87. My 16 year old will sometimes till call me Mommy
88. I sometimes still call MY mom Mommy
89. I don't laugh out loud often but when I do it's REALLY loud
90. This used to irritate my ex who seemed to think I was laughing JUST to piss him off
91. I love planning things, trips, big dinners, work projects
92. I love it so much I've been known to actually put the preparations for Thanksgiving dinner into MS Project
93. I love to dance
94. I took ballet for years as a kid
95. I quit when I saw of picture of myself in my tutu and realized I looked NOTHING like a ballerina
96. I can still memorize and execute steps easily
97. While in a dance club I was told by a guy that I danced like a `Solid Gold Dancer'
98. Another time I was told by a guy that I danced like `Black Woman'
99. I am white
100. I took both of these as a compliment!

Martha vs Maxine
So I'm sure everyone on the planet has seen this but me - but it cracked me up so I'm going to share..



Martha's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Martha's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine's Way
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine's Way
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's Way
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".
Maxine's Way
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Martha's Way
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine's Way
Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha's Way
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine's Way
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Martha's Way
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine's Way
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Martha's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine's Way
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Martha's Way
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine's Way
Leftover wine???????? HEL-LO !!!!!

Geeks on Love
Just overheard at work:

Men don't really multi-task it seems like we're doing multiple things but we're really doing one thing at a time in small increments, alternating between tasks.

Women are REAL multi-taskers they really can do multiple things at once

it's like Men are Microsoft and Women are Linex


------------
And you thought geeks didn't understand women!

Eat My Shorts - Short thoughts that is
Random thoughts from the past few days:

Quick - look there!
While driving home the other day I pulled up to a stop sign. Beside me was a truck stopped in the left turn lane. For some reason activity in the truck made me turn to look at the gentleman driving. He was smiling pleasantly and pointing to the right. Being of a curious nature, I turned to look down the street to the right. At the moment of my distraction the truck pulled quickly forward going STAIGHT from the left turn lane! He waved a thank you and rather then being mad I had to laugh and think "Man, I'll have to try that sometime!"

Girl poop vs. Boy poop

My son came out of the bathroom recently and exclaimed "Phew! Someone stunk it up in there! It HAD to be a GIRL!"

Of course I was quick to defend the feminine nation, "Why does it have to be a girl? Boy's poop stinks too you know"

His answer floored me, "Yeah, but girl poop smells different, and THAT was girl poo"

HUH? Girl poop SMELLS different?!

Eat a doughnut

This is for all of the clothing designers who read my site *snark*

Just because I wear a size 16 blouse does NOT mean that have no sense of style or that I want to dress like my grandmother...

Of course I'm sure, somewhere on another planet is a 75 year old woman who wishes she could find clothes in size 0 that didn't look like they belonged on a crack whore.

I love you too, NOT

When the ex came to pick up the kids yesterday he was on the phone, and as he pulled up, with the window down, I heard him say, "Ok, I've got to go, I love you..."

My first thought?, "He must have been talking to his fianc?"

My second thought? "I just heard him say `I love you' to someone else for the very first time and didn't give a flying fuck!"

YES!

Rage against the Machine my friends
Alright you people! You're slacking. Once again I only have ONE question to answer. You really are making this too easy. Heheheh

Bisous of well, Bisous asks:

"Ever get thrown in jail?"

and then adds:

"as a psychiatrist I ask this question of every new patient in any of the variety of situations I meet them -- and you get the most interesting stories that way"

You REALLY know how to make me feel dull and boring, you know that? I have to say that I have never been thrown nor even quietly lead into jail before. As a matter of fact, the closest I've come to something like that is being sent to the principles office once in the second and once in the sixth grade.

I'm a bit of a pathological rule follower. I suppose it comes from not just RESPECTING authority, but being terrified of it. Also, I HATE being wrong and how more wrong can you be then to get into trouble like that?

But I'll share my two stories with you anyway

Second grade, and we were at recess and the bell rang so we all filed into line. I had been skipping rope and continued to do so all the way too the line and then didn't stop as we started to file into the building. I missed a step, lost my balance, fell off the sidewalk and into a puddle. I have a feeling I was sent to the office more because I was soaking wet then because I was skipping rope, but my transgression was discussed firmly and my parents were called (again probably because I needed dry clothes). Overall, the whole experience was terrifying enough to keep me out of the office for a LONG time.

By sixth grade I had firmly planted myself into the role of `goody two shoes'. But for some reason myself and some other kids got into a shoving match out on the playground. The teacher intervened and we were all questioned as to what was happening and who had started it. By some sort of unspoken pact none of us `told'. The entire lot of us (about six kids) were sent to the office and I was TERRIFIED that I would get paddled. (Yes I went to schools that allowed corporal punishment). I also knew that if I was paddled at school I would get it again when I got home so I was doubly terrified. Instead the principle decided it was enough to keep us all in during recess for the next week, and our parents were never called. Looking back now, I wonder if he didn't secretly admire our resolve NOT to spill the beans. Who knows.

Alright - now it's YOUR turn. Spill your greatest transgressions!

It's Hump Day Truth or Dare
Ha! I remembered - can you believe it?

It's time for Hump Day Truth or Dare - You ask the questions, I'll answer them with as much honesty as possible.

And now I turn it over to you!