Just call me MacGyver
As I've mentioned before, I'm a consultant and I don't work AT the company I work FOR. Because of this, the company I work for calls everyone together quarterly for a pep-rally, er, I mean, a meeting. Despite this being mandatory, it's not uncommon for most of the other `fellows' who work at the same client as me to find excuses to skip. Needless to say this, on top of the hour and a half drive AFTER hours had me pretty grumpy.

Despite all that I was feeling pretty good, new clothes will do that for me. My kicky skirt and sleeveless blouse had me walking about with my head high and shoulders back. A quick trip to the ladies room had me checking my `look' in the mirror and as I'm wont to do I started tugging at various pieces of clothing to make sure the lines met my approval. That's when I heard it. That awful horrible snap and sproing noise that's the bane of most ladies existence. My bra strap had snapped!

In a panic I dashed back into a stall, stripped off my shirt and the offending article of clothing. It was a total loss. The plastic "O" that was holding the strap to the chest band was gone. Even if I had been carrying a safety pin in my purse, I hadn't brought it in the bathroom with me. My gaze roved haphazardly over the inside of the stall as my brain pondered options: Sneak back into the meeting, grab my keys and run away? Get my coat out of my car and wear it through the presentations? Ask the girl at the hotel front desk if she had a safety pin? Stay locked in the bathroom until someone came looking for me?

Then I saw it. Hanging on the back of the door where I had put in my haste to check the damage, my ID Badge. My mind quickly went over the possibilities: Use the lanyard to tie the strap back into place? Hmm, what about that metal clip? Oh! I KNOW...

So I went to my meeting, underclothes functioning and the smile on my face even bigger then ever knowing that I had a secret. I had repaired my bra using the plastic strap used to snap the badge to the metal clip, and it held like a champ!

I wanna run though the halls of my highschool
Do you ever get tired of living in your own skin? Tired of the music you listen too, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the apartment you live in? Not just one of them, but ALL of them at the same time? I do, I am.

It's not that I don't like my life, or I'm not happy with who I am. I'm bored. My life is nice, but currently mundane, and I'm itching to do something wild and extraordinary. Like staying out all night dancing and partying, or dying my hair black with fuchsia highlights, or re-piercing my nose. Something that thumbs my nose at conformity and allows me to feel, that in this one little corner of my life I am not a boar!

It's not like I feel that my life has to be this way everyday, but now and then I think life could use a little...glitter. Maybe it's just been too long since I listened to loud music. Maybe it's been too long since I hung out with the people that push me to be and do more then I would on my own.

Maybe I just need to learn to be happy with what I've got.

I'll take the Dare
I know there was only one question in the comments, but Cory from Evolution caught me in messenger and asked this question:

"Have you ever avoided cleaning the fridge just because YOU knew there was something gone horribly BAD in there?"

Apparently that question was inspired by a friend of his and you can read that story, on his blog.

My answer?

Yes! Who hasn't? I'm the queen of `if I'm not looking at it, it doesn't exist' and I'm known for letting things go that would bother a lot of other people. Fortunately, I don't have any stories that are as incredible as Cory's! I have also been known to throw away Tupperware containers that have begun to swell simply because I really didn't want to know what was inside. I'm not sure if that's more a sign of laziness or self preservation.

Now Jay of Body for Life Journey asks:

"What was your most embarrassing moment?"

Now, I know this is probably going to sound like a cop out, but I've had so many embarrassing moments that there isn't a particular incident that stands out in my mind. What there was, though was a defining moment in my embarrassing career.

I was in sixth grade and involved in synchronized swimming. We were practicing a routine outside of the pool, as it was easier to perfect the timing and placement outside of the water before taking to the `wet'. As we moved to a new position I slipped on the wet deck and landed quiet heavily. Unhurt I leapt back to my feet and in frustration stopped my foot. My coach looked me over to make sure I was ok and then said "That was REALLY graceful, right up to the part where you stomped your foot."

It was then that I realized that getting angry in those situations would only make things worse. I really can't help that I'm clumsy and falling down in various situations is a way of life for me. But how I handle myself can make a big difference in the way that others perceive me. So now I have a habit of thinking after a particularly nasty fall, "That might have been really graceful, so I best not stomp my foot."

And that's my story! And as is tradition, you're welcome to share your own stories here.

Is it Hump Day already
I guess it's that time. Time for Hump Day Truth or Dare! simply submit your question and I'll answer - go on, it won't hurt, I swear!

Deep thoughts from a shallow mind
It's been an interesting couple of weeks. With all the chaos around us, and even with N being so sick he missed four days work, somehow we've managed to feel closer and stronger then ever.

All those things that were bothering me before we've addressed. No, not all at once with one heartfelt, yet overblown e-mail, but one at a time as appropriate, in manageable amounts. It's been GREAT.

And now, just as things are starting to feel comfortable and `normal' again. Just as we've fallen back into the pattern of sitting around, smiling into each other eyes, we got the news. He's being sent out of town again!

Luckily, this time, our days before and immediately after won't be consumed by children, but it still scares me, just a little. And yet, we survived. Perhaps it will be easier to be apart, maybe we'll feel safer this time. There is no doubt in my mind that the previous trips scared us both. I know for me, being apart taught me some really scary lessons. I learned that I can't go back to the footloose person I was before I met him. I can't just `fall' back into a lifestyle that doesn't revolve around him. My orbit became lopsided and I was in real danger of falling into the sun. And before I get angry emails about how a woman should be able to stand on her own, please note that I can, and do stand on my own when I need to, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And while many women are made miserable by feeling their life revolves around this single person and having their heart reside outside their bodies, I'm lucky, because his world also revolves around me. Therefore, there is no doubt in my mind that he was just as wobbly and scared as I was during that time.

I've discovered that it's entirely possible to both cling to and push away a person. I both did a lot of that over the past few months as I tried to resolve the issues that were uncovered in those weeks he was gone. Perhaps those issues are cleared now, perhaps he'll come home this time and we'll be able to return to the state we're in now without all the crap in between. Or, perhaps there will be another period of learning and growing to come. Either way, I'm willing to go through it because I've found the other half of me, and I would NEVER give that up without a fight.

How a cat changed my life
It all started when I got a cat

Because cats were not allowed in my apartment, when my landlord found out I was given 30 days to move out

The cat ran away shortly after that

Because I now had NO cat but still had to move I was able to room with a friend

Because I was rooming with this friend, he was able to get me a ridiculously high paying consulting job at the same place he was consulting at

Because I had a ridiculously high paying job, I was able to sign up at a ridiculously high priced dating service

And thus I met my fiance and have lived happily ever after

And, as you might have guessed, I now own another cat...

Question
Alright folks, just out of curiosity, how many of you started your weekend with breakfast in bed and ended it puting together workout equipment? Anyone?

That was my weekend and pretty much sums up the way it went. Saturday morning I got breakfast in bed, and eating it exhausted me so much that I ended up sleeping 'til 2:00pm!

I guess I needed it.

Sunday we started out returning a faulty barbell, started looking at benches and ended up bringing home....



Isn't she a beaut?

An open letter
Dear Vendor Dude,

I understand that the office is cold and that has caused my nipples to leave facinating bumps on the landscape of my chest. I can also understand the less then mild facination that might cause your eyes to linger a little longer on said portions of my anatomy. What I don't understand is your need to stare at my breasts and only my breasts every single time I walk past you!

Do me a favor and go pop your tent in someone elses office, because I looked too, and it wasn't all that impressive.

Signed

Endowed and usually Understanding

100 Things
1. I was born in Germany
2. My parents are Americans
3. I have a German birth certificate
4. I have naturalization papers
5. Because of the afore mentioned points, and the fact that my maiden name is German, people often assume that I am a first generation American
6. I often don't debase them of this notion
7. I set foot on American soil for the first time when I was 18 months old
8. I don't speak German
9. My parents divorced when I was six
10. I have four brothers
11. I have two sisters
12. I'm an only child
13. Two of my brothers are younger then my children
14. I grew up living with my mom and her husband
15. When I was growing up we moved 13 times in 10 years
16. Since I left home, my mom has only moved twice
17. I left home when I was 16
18. I went to five high schools
19. One of my high schools had 25 students total
20. One of my high schools had 3500 students total
21. I play trombone
22. I missed going with my school to a national band competition because I had "Unsatisfactory Citizenship" in two classes
23. I was getting straight A's at the time
24. My dad has the word DAM tattooed on his forearm - it's his initials
25. My dad has been married three times and is now living with a different woman
26. My initials spell something too
27. I graduated high school on a Thursday and got married on Saturday
28. I was married 13 years
29. I was 19 when I had my first child
30. I have three children
31. I have a nice singing voice
32. I often enunciate while talking as if I'm singing
33. This makes people think I have a foreign accent
34. My hair is (in real life) light brown
35. My eyes are blue
36. I've been overweight since my Jr year in High school
37. I thought I was overweight long before then
38. I have nice cleavage
39. I am a project manager
40. I'm not afraid of public speaking
41. I'm not afraid of dying
42. I believe in God
43. I was so shy in school that the other kids thought I was stuck up
44. I went to a counselor in Jr High
45. I was accepted to be a foreign exchange student but we moved
46. I skipped kindergarten because I could already read
47. I don't remember `learning' to read, I just remember doing it
48. By my second year of school I was already reading at a sixth grade level
49. I never fit in at school `socially'
50. We moved after 5th grade so my mother let me repeat the grade even though I had passed so I could be the same age as everyone else
51. It didn't really help `socially'
52. I usually smile while walking down the street and while shopping
53. Perfect strangers often greet me or talk to me for no reason
54. Especially the homeless
55. Two children that I played with in the fifth grade were abducted and never found
56. I babysat for my mother for one whole summer and earned $222.20 - I bought a horse
57. She was six months old and had never been touched by a human before
58. I did all her training
59. I cried when I had to sell her
60. I have a sleep disorder that makes it hard for me to fall asleep at night, or wake up feeling refreshed in the morning
61. I have an extreme form PMS called PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder)
62. My PMDD is mild
63. it's actually worse AFTER my period then before
64. My children were born in 3:15, 3, and 2:45 hours respectively
65. I was present at the birth of all three of my mother's other children
66. They were born at home
67. My oldest was present when her sister was born
68. I've never went to college
69. My bowling average is 89
70. I think buying gifts is a perfectly acceptable way to show your love to someone
71. My birthday is nine days after Christmas and growing up it would often get forgotten in the post holiday let down and back to school rush
72. I still resent that
73. I had spinal meningitis when I was 9 months old and almost died
74. I'm still waiting for the day when this effects my life somehow
75. I learned to swim when I was 18 months old
76. I almost drown when I was four while swimming in a canal
77. My dad rescued me
78. He was my hero long before then
79. I once belonged to a synchronized swimming team
80. We moved right before our first competition.
81. I'm addicted to diet Pepsi
82. I can drink diet Pepsi or diet coke interchangeably
83. I'm really good at a lot of things, but not GREAT at any one thing
84. This is because I don't `apply' myself
85. I actually LIKE sex
86. My fianc? calls me punkin - he's the only person who ever has
87. My 16 year old will sometimes till call me Mommy
88. I sometimes still call MY mom Mommy
89. I don't laugh out loud often but when I do it's REALLY loud
90. This used to irritate my ex who seemed to think I was laughing JUST to piss him off
91. I love planning things, trips, big dinners, work projects
92. I love it so much I've been known to actually put the preparations for Thanksgiving dinner into MS Project
93. I love to dance
94. I took ballet for years as a kid
95. I quit when I saw of picture of myself in my tutu and realized I looked NOTHING like a ballerina
96. I can still memorize and execute steps easily
97. While in a dance club I was told by a guy that I danced like a `Solid Gold Dancer'
98. Another time I was told by a guy that I danced like `Black Woman'
99. I am white
100. I took both of these as a compliment!

Martha vs Maxine
So I'm sure everyone on the planet has seen this but me - but it cracked me up so I'm going to share..



Martha's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Martha's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine's Way
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine's Way
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's Way
If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".
Maxine's Way
If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Martha's Way
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine's Way
Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha's Way
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine's Way
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Martha's Way
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine's Way
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Martha's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine's Way
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Martha's Way
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine's Way
Leftover wine???????? HEL-LO !!!!!