Conversations with a talking donkey
We came home on Sunday to find a message on the machine from my Son "Mom? Mom, are you there? Hello! Hello...." And then finally "Call me when you get this"

It scared me a little and I called right away. The first person I talked to was my youngest daughter and she had `lots' of news.

S: Mommy, Winkey died!
Winkey was the ginue pig my oldest rescued from an abusive situation and was trying nurse back to health and find a new home for. Apparently it had taken the entire day to die and S was pretty upset about it. We talked about that for a while before she moved on to more pleasant topics.

S: I got my bed set up, you know the one with the head and foot board. I put on my comforter, the blue and yellow one and my dresser is set up!
Me: Wow, that's great! So you're getting to sleep in your own bed again? The one I bought you?
S: Yes.
Me: You have room for it this time, even with C_____'s stuff?
S: what? Oh no, I have my own room!
Me: You do!?
S: Yes, and I get to set it up any way I want to! M___ is sharing with D___, but their room is more like two rooms in one, so it's not REALLY sharing.

I did a quick calculation and then just HAD to confirm...

Me: so, your new house has FOUR rooms?
S: Yes, and a study room for us to do our homework in.

At this point I would LOVE to say how happy I was, and how excited for the kids, and a part of me is, but at the same time there was this sick little tendril of jealousy. We live in this little two bedroom apartment with barely enough room to turn around without bumping into each other and Richard Cranium gets to live in this two story, four bedroom mansion! FEH!!! I could live in a mansion too if I wasn't paying HIM 1300 dollars a month! (breathing deep: ten, nine, eight, seven...)

I figured now was a good time to change the subject so I started asking about the next time they were going to visit. The ex had said earlier in the month that he wasn't sure how visitation was going to go this month, because he needed the kids to help move. (yeah, this happens a LOT, but I don't complain about it NEAR as much as I should) But since the kids were telling me that they had ALREADY moved I thought they may as well visit on MY WEEKEND. How unreasonable of me...

The ex must of heard our conversation because he got on the phone.

RC: Hi, I guess the kids told you we've moved, blah blah blah, I wanted to give you our address blah blah blah blah blah, I guess we'll see how it all works out, blah blah blah.

Finally he gets to it

RC: About this weekend, we're pretty much moved, but we're going to have a garage sale this weekend, and I know it's your weekend, but I really need the kid's help.

"Um, EXCUSE me!" I'm thinking. YOU'RE having a garage sale and it's MY problem? Oh GOD how I wish I could say these things to his face. But no, I'm a `keep the peace' kind of person. Don't make waves, just make sure the kids are happy. So instead I say, "Uh Huh".

RC: You can have the kids over Labor Day weekend instead. Three whole Days!

Oh yes! Let me bow down and kiss your toes. Uh, on second thought those things are nasty, no thanks! So, asserting myself just a little I say something like.

M: So what's September's schedule look like? Are the kids going to get to visit?

RC: Oh yeah they can visit! Well, we're getting married in September, so I'll want the kids that weekend, but you can have them every other weekend if you want.

WTF!? Married!? HA! And he bitched me out when I met N saying we moved too fast. WANKER.

M: Oh, when is that? So I know not to make plans.

RC: September 18th, but that was my weekend anyway, so that's not a problem.

Oh so when it's YOUR weekend I'm not allowed to make plans, but when it's mine, it's ok for YOU TO?

Maybe I'm being unreasonable. I'm willing to hear someone tell me that I am. Really! As a matter of fact, it might make me feel better. Someone tell me he has every right to do this so that I can stop feeling like such a doormat every time he does!

ANYWAY, When I finally got to talk to my son (who, I was told, had been wiring up the dryer - EXCUSE me, my 13 year old son is playing 220 volts?) it turned out he had been calling because he had gotten a phone call that made him worry that my phone had been stolen, it hadn't.

The oldest chatted with me for a while too. Her `love' still doesn't know she WUBS him though they talk on the phone every other day or so. She's already planning a `grand entrance' at winter formal as she has a staircase to walk down, and her new room has a balcony.

A balcony!? - Man, I suck...

Just another weekend in paradise
The weekend started with promise, no kids were scheduled to visit and everyone was cured of their various ailments. For once, the promise was fulfilled.

Friday night was a recovery night. Storing up our energy for the weekend ahead. I made pork chops, veggies and baked potatoes and we sat and watched Hell Boy. I liked it!

Saturday morning started with a nice long snuggle. Hunger finally drove us from our bed and we cured that with a quick batch of French toast. After that, we hopped in the car and started our adventures. A drive down the coast and we ended up at our first planned destination, Filoli. This estate was built by the owner of one of the largest gold mines in the world, and it shows. The mansion has over 40 rooms and every one is a work of art. The wood paneling, marble fireplaces and ornate - EVERYTHING were amazing. And the house isn't even the best part. For botanites like us the real treat was the six, yes SIX acres of gardens. Even at the end of summer, there were blooms to admire, but the actual DESIGNS of the gardens shine through no matter the season. We could have gotten lost in there and lived happily ever after.

The drive home was mostly spent in companionable silence. We do that a lot, ride along, holding hands and catching each other's eyes now and then. It's a nice place to be. We grabbed dinner at a pub chatted about business plans and basically enjoyed being able to have a beer and a burger without having to entertain anyone but each other for a while.

Sunday was another slow morning started with pancakes, eggs and bacon, the works. We took our time gathering our things together and then headed out for some geocaching. Eight hours of hiking later, we were tired (or should I say TIRED?) but happy. The wetlands were amazing, the sunset original, and the company beyond compare.

The only down side to the weekend (beyond the conversation with the ex on Sunday night?) it made getting up and heading into work today harder then ever.

Just call me MacGyver
As I've mentioned before, I'm a consultant and I don't work AT the company I work FOR. Because of this, the company I work for calls everyone together quarterly for a pep-rally, er, I mean, a meeting. Despite this being mandatory, it's not uncommon for most of the other `fellows' who work at the same client as me to find excuses to skip. Needless to say this, on top of the hour and a half drive AFTER hours had me pretty grumpy.

Despite all that I was feeling pretty good, new clothes will do that for me. My kicky skirt and sleeveless blouse had me walking about with my head high and shoulders back. A quick trip to the ladies room had me checking my `look' in the mirror and as I'm wont to do I started tugging at various pieces of clothing to make sure the lines met my approval. That's when I heard it. That awful horrible snap and sproing noise that's the bane of most ladies existence. My bra strap had snapped!

In a panic I dashed back into a stall, stripped off my shirt and the offending article of clothing. It was a total loss. The plastic "O" that was holding the strap to the chest band was gone. Even if I had been carrying a safety pin in my purse, I hadn't brought it in the bathroom with me. My gaze roved haphazardly over the inside of the stall as my brain pondered options: Sneak back into the meeting, grab my keys and run away? Get my coat out of my car and wear it through the presentations? Ask the girl at the hotel front desk if she had a safety pin? Stay locked in the bathroom until someone came looking for me?

Then I saw it. Hanging on the back of the door where I had put in my haste to check the damage, my ID Badge. My mind quickly went over the possibilities: Use the lanyard to tie the strap back into place? Hmm, what about that metal clip? Oh! I KNOW...

So I went to my meeting, underclothes functioning and the smile on my face even bigger then ever knowing that I had a secret. I had repaired my bra using the plastic strap used to snap the badge to the metal clip, and it held like a champ!

I wanna run though the halls of my highschool
Do you ever get tired of living in your own skin? Tired of the music you listen too, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, the apartment you live in? Not just one of them, but ALL of them at the same time? I do, I am.

It's not that I don't like my life, or I'm not happy with who I am. I'm bored. My life is nice, but currently mundane, and I'm itching to do something wild and extraordinary. Like staying out all night dancing and partying, or dying my hair black with fuchsia highlights, or re-piercing my nose. Something that thumbs my nose at conformity and allows me to feel, that in this one little corner of my life I am not a boar!

It's not like I feel that my life has to be this way everyday, but now and then I think life could use a little...glitter. Maybe it's just been too long since I listened to loud music. Maybe it's been too long since I hung out with the people that push me to be and do more then I would on my own.

Maybe I just need to learn to be happy with what I've got.

I'll take the Dare
I know there was only one question in the comments, but Cory from Evolution caught me in messenger and asked this question:

"Have you ever avoided cleaning the fridge just because YOU knew there was something gone horribly BAD in there?"

Apparently that question was inspired by a friend of his and you can read that story, on his blog.

My answer?

Yes! Who hasn't? I'm the queen of `if I'm not looking at it, it doesn't exist' and I'm known for letting things go that would bother a lot of other people. Fortunately, I don't have any stories that are as incredible as Cory's! I have also been known to throw away Tupperware containers that have begun to swell simply because I really didn't want to know what was inside. I'm not sure if that's more a sign of laziness or self preservation.

Now Jay of Body for Life Journey asks:

"What was your most embarrassing moment?"

Now, I know this is probably going to sound like a cop out, but I've had so many embarrassing moments that there isn't a particular incident that stands out in my mind. What there was, though was a defining moment in my embarrassing career.

I was in sixth grade and involved in synchronized swimming. We were practicing a routine outside of the pool, as it was easier to perfect the timing and placement outside of the water before taking to the `wet'. As we moved to a new position I slipped on the wet deck and landed quiet heavily. Unhurt I leapt back to my feet and in frustration stopped my foot. My coach looked me over to make sure I was ok and then said "That was REALLY graceful, right up to the part where you stomped your foot."

It was then that I realized that getting angry in those situations would only make things worse. I really can't help that I'm clumsy and falling down in various situations is a way of life for me. But how I handle myself can make a big difference in the way that others perceive me. So now I have a habit of thinking after a particularly nasty fall, "That might have been really graceful, so I best not stomp my foot."

And that's my story! And as is tradition, you're welcome to share your own stories here.

Is it Hump Day already
I guess it's that time. Time for Hump Day Truth or Dare! simply submit your question and I'll answer - go on, it won't hurt, I swear!

Deep thoughts from a shallow mind
It's been an interesting couple of weeks. With all the chaos around us, and even with N being so sick he missed four days work, somehow we've managed to feel closer and stronger then ever.

All those things that were bothering me before we've addressed. No, not all at once with one heartfelt, yet overblown e-mail, but one at a time as appropriate, in manageable amounts. It's been GREAT.

And now, just as things are starting to feel comfortable and `normal' again. Just as we've fallen back into the pattern of sitting around, smiling into each other eyes, we got the news. He's being sent out of town again!

Luckily, this time, our days before and immediately after won't be consumed by children, but it still scares me, just a little. And yet, we survived. Perhaps it will be easier to be apart, maybe we'll feel safer this time. There is no doubt in my mind that the previous trips scared us both. I know for me, being apart taught me some really scary lessons. I learned that I can't go back to the footloose person I was before I met him. I can't just `fall' back into a lifestyle that doesn't revolve around him. My orbit became lopsided and I was in real danger of falling into the sun. And before I get angry emails about how a woman should be able to stand on her own, please note that I can, and do stand on my own when I need to, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. And while many women are made miserable by feeling their life revolves around this single person and having their heart reside outside their bodies, I'm lucky, because his world also revolves around me. Therefore, there is no doubt in my mind that he was just as wobbly and scared as I was during that time.

I've discovered that it's entirely possible to both cling to and push away a person. I both did a lot of that over the past few months as I tried to resolve the issues that were uncovered in those weeks he was gone. Perhaps those issues are cleared now, perhaps he'll come home this time and we'll be able to return to the state we're in now without all the crap in between. Or, perhaps there will be another period of learning and growing to come. Either way, I'm willing to go through it because I've found the other half of me, and I would NEVER give that up without a fight.

How a cat changed my life
It all started when I got a cat

Because cats were not allowed in my apartment, when my landlord found out I was given 30 days to move out

The cat ran away shortly after that

Because I now had NO cat but still had to move I was able to room with a friend

Because I was rooming with this friend, he was able to get me a ridiculously high paying consulting job at the same place he was consulting at

Because I had a ridiculously high paying job, I was able to sign up at a ridiculously high priced dating service

And thus I met my fiance and have lived happily ever after

And, as you might have guessed, I now own another cat...

Question
Alright folks, just out of curiosity, how many of you started your weekend with breakfast in bed and ended it puting together workout equipment? Anyone?

That was my weekend and pretty much sums up the way it went. Saturday morning I got breakfast in bed, and eating it exhausted me so much that I ended up sleeping 'til 2:00pm!

I guess I needed it.

Sunday we started out returning a faulty barbell, started looking at benches and ended up bringing home....



Isn't she a beaut?

An open letter
Dear Vendor Dude,

I understand that the office is cold and that has caused my nipples to leave facinating bumps on the landscape of my chest. I can also understand the less then mild facination that might cause your eyes to linger a little longer on said portions of my anatomy. What I don't understand is your need to stare at my breasts and only my breasts every single time I walk past you!

Do me a favor and go pop your tent in someone elses office, because I looked too, and it wasn't all that impressive.

Signed

Endowed and usually Understanding